Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Familiarity

It really just comes back to this, doesn't it? 

My last post was in November 2013. THE last post of this blog was in November 2013. You know, deep down, I almost hoped that someone else would post here, but I guess I'm the only one stuck in the past.

I've said it before though, and I'll say it again. Maybe it's not that I'm stuck in the past. Maybe I just need to come back here once in a while to seek some comfort in familiarity. I don't know about the others, but when I make a commitment to something, I get really attached and I find it extremely difficult to let go. In my turbulent, formative years in back in RI, this was all I held on to, and I was held on to this blog very dearly. I'm probably a little crazy just because of this, because I'm pretty sure nobody else cared so much about this blog as I once did. As I probably still do. Maybe that's why it all really just comes back to this doesn't it?

Well, since I'm here, I might as well update the random reader on what's going on with my life. I am already approaching the end of my second year of study in NUS. I can safely say that I know close to nothing about what it means to be a mechanical engineer still. I've basically been spending my time with activities and planning events. Pretty much the same things I used to do back in RI, only now I deal with the real world. In many ways, a lot of what I am now looks a lot like what I was 8 years ago. Not taking studies seriously, fooling around, spending way too much time on non-academic stuff etc. Maybe that's why I'm back here. 

I'm more adult now that I was back then, obviously. I've organised events involving the public, I've liaised with external bodies about monetary issues, handled accounts involving the money of a lot of people and so on. Basically, I'm the same me LOADED with all these extra adult responsibilities.Yet somehow, I don't feel any different. As much as it's easy to point to the fact that this means that I have not improved since my time in RI, another thought begins to creep in. Maybe the reason I did not have to improve was because RI put me up to such a high standard, yet made everything fun, so I hardly realised the amount of growing I was doing.

I mean, its easy to forget. Looking back, I was a jackass. All I remembered was fun, seriously. No work, almost all play. Yet, I've somehow become the man I am today. And that's gotta come from somewhere right? So maybe that's why I'm here. Because deep down, I probably realise that the reason I am who I am today, not just the bad, but the good, came almost as a direct result of my time in RI. And this place serves as a platform for me to reminisce on those times. This place is almost a record of the things which happened, good or bad. So really, it all just comes back to this, doesn't it?

I'm going to turn 23 soon. Thats 10 years from when I first started my Raffles journey. And that makes this blog, what, almost 8 years old? What have I learnt? Nothing I can put in words, that's for sure. But I know what I've gained. It's just that sometimes, I forget. And that is why I need this blog. That's why I occasionally feel the urge to visit and just scroll through. So that I can remember. So at the end of the day, it really does come back to this. And I'm glad for it.


I don't know when I will post next, simply because I have so much on my hands now. But I look forward to when that will happen.

Till next time,


Yours truly,
Fing.

(P.s. I can never truly revert back to my original colour simply because I can't find the right shade of pink. So this is like, 50 shades of pink. Heh.)

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:37 AM