Thursday, November 21, 2013

ITS COMING!!!!

FINALS ARE UPON US. Yes, as part of us "moving on", we are mostly in universities now, and the much dreaded finals are upon on. My first paper is in two days time. And its......Math. How the heck am I still studying by itself the most useless subject ever? I kinda had the vision that after JC, I would be done with math once and for all, but nooooo.

 And this being our first major exam since the A Levels more than two years ago, I am nervous. But....what the heck. On with it. See you guys in SEVEN days. Yes, that's when my last paper ends. Granted, I may not post even when I am done with it, but AT LEAST I WILL BE FREE. Okay enough.

 That was uncharacteristically childish of me. 

 Heh heh well maybe not :D :D :D

 Fing

Posted by Mat Raffles at 2:57 PM

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Remember

Hey there. Its odd, yet somewhat unsurprising that I'm back here after so long. This is firstly because its exam period and I have yet to outgrow this terrible, terrible habit of distracting myself when all i really need to do is focus. And secondly, because whenever I am in a great deal of stress, I, along with most people out there, seek familiarity, or more precisely comfort. I'll have to admit that going to this blog wasn't my first option, but then, nothing else worked. I chanced upon this blog again after a hiatus of more than a year and I must say, I am pleasantly surprised both by how much comfort just being on this page brings to me as well as the traffic this blog is getting, considering its been dead for awhile now. Or maybe this blog never was dead, just dormant.

 Thinking of this blog as dormant makes me really upset, but there really is nothing I can do about it and it really is to be expected. I say dormant because somehow (to me at least), I feel like this blog just never seems to die, like it has a soul or something, and is just waiting for someone to use it again. And the fact that none of the original members are posting here anymore gives the blog the impression that it had been abandoned. Picture your childhood imaginary friend, and as you grow up, you tell that friend that you would be back when you're done settling things. Being a naive figment of your imagination, that friend would be glad to know that you would be coming back and would obviously await your return. But there it remains, with no attention given to it. And as I look back, I see this shadow of a kid, my friend, OUR friend, just waiting, with a forlorn look on his face. And just imagining that upsets me immensely.

 I don't expect any one of us to actually post in this blog ever again. And I don't see why anyone should. We have all moved on with our lives. We have all gone our separate ways, albeit together as a batch, however contradictory that may sound. In fact, I don't think I should post in this blog again. But I want to. And trust me, its not that I haven't moved on like the rest of us have. Its just that as much as I enjoy life now, I really can't help but to keep looking back at the fun times we all had and wish that they would happen again, however impossible it may be. And damn right its impossible. We have responsibilities now. We've all grown up now. And there, I've said it again just as I have so many times before: WE HAVE ALL GROWN UP.

 Its hard to believe that when I made my first contribution to this blog, I was 14 going on 15 and now, I'm well into the age of 21. The "I can watch M18 movies in the cinema and have a drivers' license and not need my parents' permission to do things" and "I can buy cigarettes (I don't smoke by the way) and liquor (neither do I drink) and own a house" phases and milestones are all behind me. Us. Yet here I am. Back at the blog made out of a childish impulse a brilliant member of ours once had. The blog which is used to rant and voice out our adolescent problems which on hindsight, seem really ridiculous and trivial. 

 Honestly, I don't know what compelled me to visit this blog in the first place. After thinking a bit, I realised that it may be because for a large part of my developing years, this blog was all I had. It meant so much more to me than the other members probably know. I treated this blog like the best-friend I never had (which fortunately, I eventually did), sought it whenever I was down, and in essence, made this blog the pillar of strength I needed in my developing years, when teens like us were forced to develop and then were supposed to flourish and bloom into wonderful human beings and were expected to like it. I probably should've turned to religion more back then, but I was a naive teenager. 

 This familiarity I feel makes me want to keep coming back. And that would be pointless if there were no more new posts....so here I am, officially opening this blog again. I have no intention to relive its glory days; that is part of the past and as glorifying as it may be, its probably better kept that way, a part of the past. Instead, I will attempt to keep posting like a hiatus never happened, complete with colour-coding and codenames, speaking of which......tadaa! 

I'm back, writing in the pink colour which I was assigned, under the moniker which I chose (sorry for using white colour reserved for the legendary Fuckle). And this feels good. And it can only get better.

For the first time in a long time and hopefully not the last time,
Yours as sincerely as humanly possible,

Fing

Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:46 AM