Wednesday, September 22, 2010

There she goes.

Okay Im sorry I ignored this blog for almost 20 days o.o
Prelims really taking much more time than I am willing to give it.

But anyway, I feel weird. Haha no Shift, not because I discovered that giraffe found a mate, though it could play a part. I really dont know how to describe it haha. Forthe first time, I dont even know who to describe it. But ill try.

Its like, I feel high. And sometimes unexplainably extremely happy, then sad and lonesome atthe same time. I think some of you might know what this feels like. Like your insides are torn and you havethis queasy feeling in your stomache but you cant do anything about it. LIKE NOW OUCHHHHHH

Oh prelims are fine. I dont think I care too much about it which is bad. SHIT I should start caring. This isnt healthy. Having a happy-go-lucky attitude is fine. Having a happy-and-i-dont-care attitude isnt. No sir it isnt.

okay i dont know what wasthe point of that post
Cing.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:59 PM

Monday, September 6, 2010

Is That a Bird?

Haha yknow what? After pondering for abit (yes, I know I do ponder quite alot. I can't help it, it just seems so...nice. It's weirdly therapeutic XD), I realise that I need an identity to identify myself with. Not the kind where you ask people what they think of you and you get a general reply, like:

Random person 1: Hey, what do you think of Bing?
Random person 2: I don't know, I guess he is retarded.

NAT like that. Being retarded is a habit or part of one's character. Also notice how the replier would begin his reply with "I don't know." THATS where my identity should be. "I don't know" suggests that I either don't have an identity or I have one but its easily forgettable. In my case I think I don't have one.

I think an identity should comprise of more than just a habit. It should include all sorts of things, like tastes and preferences, the way the mind works, and so on. The things one does should also reflect some part of that identity, like:

Random person 1: Omg what's Bing doing alone at the bridge?
Random person 2: Oh, he likes to look at _ _ _ _ _ to relax.

Not:

Random person 2: Uhh, I don't know. I guess he's being retarded.

Hahaha I realise how often I am associated with the word retarded. I guess that could be my character. But I don't have an identity. I make no choices when I have to simply because I don't know which choice I prefer. I have no clear taste and preference, no clear way of how my mind works etc. etc.

Ohwell I'll work on that.

AAAAnywayy, BABY GIRAFFE! ZOMG BABY GIRAFFE IS SO DAMN CUTE HA HA HA XD
Cuteness redefined. Heehee XD

And when you're free, you should seriously go and watch Love Actually, regardless of whether you have already watched it. Oh before that, watch 500 Days of Summer. The sadness and pity felt by watching 500 Days of Summer would be cured by the loveliness of Love Actually teehee ^^

Okay I'll be off to continue studying. I can't understand how some, or most people in school, can stand studying for hours on end. I just can't. I think the human mind isn't made like that. The human mind is a mushy squishy thing meant to be used for ALL aspects of life, not just studying. Or maybe I was talking about the brain. Hmm. Same difference I guess.

Yours with a rather odd mood,
Bing

Posted by Mat Raffles at 2:43 PM