Wednesday, November 26, 2008

merepek kerepek is actually bullshit in disguise

Okay, as most of you can tell from the title, this post is going to be utter bullshit. So dont waste your time reading it if you're a Man Shitty fan, because Im going to make fun of Man Shitty and botakhead 'superman' in this post alot.

But before that, I have breaking news!

Merepek Kerepek is actually Bullshit in disguise!!!

In a shocking move that shocked many people, Merepek Kerepek, self-proclaimed ruler of the famous underworld only known as "Full of Crap", has finally revealed himself to be Bullshit, the masked vigilante who roams the streets at night doing nothing in particular. Political analysts could only describe the sudden revelation as "Shitty"...


Hmm, speaking of shitty, do you guys know of a team that lost to a team proclaimed as 'Loserpool' by the fan who supports this team? No? Oh yeah, the one with the botakhead in the team, who this aforementioned fan describes as 'Superman'. Actually I dont know why.

Look at this. The REAL superman, big, strong, red cape, hot girl, superhot red underwear. Deflecting bullets with his nipples, shooting laserbeams like step-cyclops, red boots. Oh yeah, the laserbeams he shoots are red. and his logo is mostly red. Cool superman logo. Sleek black hair. I can go on and on, but I dont think anyone would actually still be reading up to this point, so why bother?


Now look at this. Do you see what I mean? This looks exactly like The-Guy-Shift-Proclaims-To-Be-Superman. What the hell, right? I mean, you could even go as far as to say what the f***-uck, but this is a family blog so its censored. The only reason why I put this picture in particular is because I cant find a botak picture of The-Guy-Shift-Proclaims-To-Be-Superman. Look at him. Fat, botak, yellow, botak, cant deflect bullets with his nipples, botak, eats chips in a blue packet. So uncool. SO uncool. Like AM's sign off, but not that bad. heehee.

Hey what the hell? WHAT the hell? This isnt bullshit! This is Man Shitty slander! Okay focus, its time to use the power of the enormous empat-kepala to good use! ITS BULLSHIT TIME! KAMEHADHSFSFJHEEFNAKANINAFLE!

Haha kamehameha. Sounds so lame. like Nabuto. But I dont watch hentai, so I dont know whether kamehamehahahahaha is from Nabuto or Drago(no)ballZ or some other hentai show. heehee, Drago no ballz. Its like saying Dragonball Z, except you put an 'O' in between the 'n' and the 'b', then it looks like Drago no ballz. Its like making fun of Drago, whose balls were cut off in an unfortunate accident involving a Polar Bear and a McFlurry. heehee, Im so funny.

Speaking of funny, have you met Forge?

Forge. Makes me think of bunnies. I dont know why. Maybe its because when I think of a forge, I think of bunnies. Get it? Forge? Bunnies?

EXACTLY my point. Forge isnt funny.

Hahahaha Im such a bastard. Sorry Forge, I just feel like a bastard today.

Staying on course, bullshit. WHAT the hell? Again. Why the HELL do they call it bullshit? And by they, I mean them. Actually its not just them, its *THEM*, with the asterisks and capitalisations and all. Seriously. I mean it. And by it, I mean the part where I say its not just them but *THEM* complete with all the bullshit and all. EH! See what I mean? Why do *THEY* call *IT* bullshit? Why? WHY? Z. HAHAHAHAHA IM SO DAMN FREAKING FUNNY IT HURTS YOU KNOWING THAT YOURE NOT AS FUNNY AS ME.

Hmm speaking of tissue, I need to go. Bye!

Not the tile,
Dertile.

No, just kidding. Im not going until I think of a better sign off.

Ooh! I thought of one, but I never said I was going to use it. Bye!

Not the tile,
Dertile.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:10 PM

Monday, November 24, 2008

Farewell cruel world.

Dear world.

Dear Headmaster(mistress?), Deputy HeadMaster, Deputy HeadMistress, teachers, fellow matrafflesians, Mr Barack Obama and the rest of the world,

My name is Shift. Well, not really, I've got a real name that I'm sure our dear head-whatevers would like to find out but sorry, no cake for you. I'm not sure really why when a while back, when the esteemed founders of this blog asked me for a code name to call myself, I chose Shift. If you asked me now for a code-name, I'd probably choose something else like Noose or Wookie. But I chose Shift then so it is with that that I introduce myself as Shift.

I am now in JC1. It feels so damn weird to be writing that. Heck, it still feels strange to be saying that I'm from RI. I've never been the most outgoing person, never been the most easy to make friends or the most fun guy to be around. And so I admit that I was more or less invisible throughout a majority of life in secondary school, only there to fill up the empty space. I never did make an effort to try to involve myself more and inevitably my fellow batchmates stopped trying to make me. If you asked someone from the mat batch of 2008 to name all the malays three years ago, he'd probably forget my name.

But I feel I can say now that I've shed that shell that I was hiding in all this while. The 3T/4T gang of malays, to a large extent, has helped me do this so take a bow Agents Forge, Fing, Finch, Patch and Stittilicious or however the fk you spell it. I guess it's not for me to say if I've truly been a much greater friend in Sec 4 than sec 1 but I feel that way. In some part of my brain, I'm feeling sad that I missed 2/3 years of great fun and enjoyment with my fellow mats but the other part of my brain is telling me that there's still JC to look forward too, that we'll still be together. I hope it's telling the truth, my brain is weird that way.

You know what's weird? People who say they know something like the back of their hands. How well can you fooking know the back of your hand? Personally, I don't know it that well, I mean I know his name of course (Say hello Leftie and Rightie) but I'm not sure of their hobbies or their favourite ice cream flavour. So that's what I'm saying when I say I know the sec 3 batch as well as the back of my hand. I like your batch. Bob has been one of the success stories of the year and with the other Bob leaving he'll be the one and only Bob left in the school. Keep close to each other but I don't think you need me telling you that.

As for the other batches I've got fuck all to say to you. Not because I'm not bothered but because I don't know enough. Just be good people, solat, puasa and everything.

I'm through this reflection shit now it's time for something a whole lot more important.

This goes out to my good friends Muzzle and AM. (and maybe Finch)

THREE NIL HAHA EAT MY SHIT WENGER IM SURE "THE SCORELINE FLATTERED CITY" WE WERE DAMN GOOD AND YOU KNOW IT.

for those who missed it, highlights here.

Here are my highlights

So who's next? Guess what it's those red bastards, no not Arsenal the ones I hate to the fucking core. Watch out bitches.

In peace,
Wookie.

PS: I didn't break my promise cos I had my hands in a moon and star shape cos I'm a Muslim and so the promise wasn't valid and anyway I've posted now so who cares and this is such a run-on sentence.

PPS: Okay, maybe this isn't farewell, all depends on what happens on Sunday. I may go into hiding for a while.

PPPS: Dear Mr Barack Obama, I have noticed that your initials spell B.O. Maybe you should change your name to Danny or something, it would smell a whole lot sweeter. Thanks for reading Siapatanya.

PPPPS: Little kids please look away now.






I just realised that noone has ever hijacked a post. HAHA SHIFT 3-2 REMEMBER THAT?

Dertile

Dear Dertile,

go make your own post. it's not polite to hijack. even looserpool fans should have manners.

PS: 21 February 2009. Guess what, that's almost one month after 30th January 2009. I can't wait.

Winningly,
Noose


Dear Shift,

First of all, you are Shift, not Noose. Noose is such a stupid name. Like... Ireland. Who the hell has a surname which is the same as a country? Okay, many people. But they suck. Like Man shitty.

5 Oct 2008, remember. 21 Feb, looking forward to it ^^

Not the tile,
Dertile

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:58 PM

Thursday, November 20, 2008

helloooooooooooh!
since the ever-so-hapee hapeeman asked me to post than i post.

firstly, im disappointed.
because.
wenger's los boys(gay eh?) LOST TO SPURS
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW DID THAT HAPEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN????
i was fromt own and rushed to the kopitiam in pasir ris and just sat down and BAM 1-0.
then when i was buying food my friend rushed to me and danced in the middle of the queue
bugger.

ouhh and i tore my lip, fuckle was there!
hahahas he saw me tear my lip!
wahh proud sehh tear lip -.-"

then i have retests.
and i doubt any other mat here has retests. Im damn sad.ok maybe not so.
but so tired and lazy to study.haaaaaaaa.
not tired as in tired tired but like tiredtired.i mean like not tired but study for eoy already still have to study for RETESTS.
balls.

and it's been awhile since i met you guys.
wanna go for some soccer/picnic/eatandgetfat session?
"hellJYEAH!" AM responds.

gahhh lame. me and lameness.we're attached twins.

so this is another boring post from AM

up UP and awa....OUCH the ceiling!
AM

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:00 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Farewell..

Hi. Long time no post. And that being said, i think this will be my last post. like, ever. Maybe not. who knows.

Anyway, since school ended..............
Bleh. Lets not go there just yet.

Ever wondered why during sch time, people all want sch to end so they can have all the time they want and yet when it arrives, everyone doesnt seem happy at all? Hm. Such a mystery. Ok lah, not not happy, just, not happy ah.

How to say? Like, alah u know wad i mean lah, i hope. If not, go spam the tagboard. At least it will be alive again. Haha.

And as i mentioned before, any strain of humour comes only during times of great stress, like when were suppossed to be studying for CCTs, which just shows our misplaced sense of priority. Of course, who wouldnt want to post in this blog given the chance to study hard? Not me. I would love to do so. However, i have been, shamefully, neglecting this blog, and when i got back, i found it to be dead. Haiz. Cmon man. Shitty as it is, this blog now in a way represents a part of our lives. The teachers talk about it (who wouldnt?), so much so that the DHM (thats the deputy headmaster, for u nutheads who still think the school is only being governed by a plump guy called Bob.) knows about it and because of that, every of our actions are now being scrutinised.

Hah, nice one. at least we wont be in RI next year to witness it all :p. Then again, technically we will still be in RI. Just not the part which has "Mats are troublemakers" written all over it. Actually thats not so bad. But save some dignity man.

Ah, heres the real reason for the post. Its time, and i am so dam sad to say this, to say goodbye. Yealah, its not goodbye. We will still meet wad. Like summore we still in same school all. But it not the same. It just isnt. There will be girls abound. Im not particularly happy about this. I know its bad to be like, possesive or sth, but u guys are all i can depend all, no matter how unreliable u all can be sometimes, and the very rumour or thought that a number of us are going out with them minahs is quite frightening, like some kind of reunion, for those who get what i mean.

Like four years. Four short years. It all just flew by. Like the wind. Betol sia. I remember when i first went to RI, i was like nemain can slack, i still got four years. Now its, wtf why did i slack, i only had four years. Really, your perspective changes as time goes by.

In 2005, basically in sec 1, we were as far apart as i can imagine. The first mat i made frens with is Fuz, and that is a good indicator of how far apart we all were. Not saying ur bad lah, Fuz, its just ur now not one of our closer frens, except me of course. Ppl got along ot knowing the inevitable, and i really did not like the sec 4s at that time, well except Nazirul, hes the one u just have to respect.I though they were a bunch of concieted assholes. Seriously. Especially when they stripped Finch, cos i wasnt familiar with the whole stripping tradition we all have. I also did not like the sec 3s and 2s, seeing i thought they too were assholes. I thought they were too joke-y, and did not take life seriously enough. Basically, i was an alien. I knew muzzle only by word of mouth, i heard of Stittalicious because of stories i heard and i did not even recognize Forge, And Gred, thinking they were twins a they had faters of a same name. *Gasp! Unbelievable but true. The part about me knowing Fuz first is true, even if i did sit next to Muzzle in malay class and officially, i "knew" him first.

In sec 2, life was no different. I went around hating ppl. Not hating lah, i did not like them. Man i still remember the day the then little Khai entered the school. That sort of made me obliged to like our predecessor, but i eventually did grow to like them. I still remember the MCC camp. Anuar, a nuthead like the rest of us, kicked the ball high into the sky. It went up, up up, then came down. It was going to the second floor of the podium and we were all screaming as if it would help the ball not get stuck. WE all heaved a huge sigh of relief when the ball hit the railings, only for it to bounce up onto the third floor, which was basically out of bounds to anyone. We were speechless. The sheer stupidity of some of us and our luck. From then on i started seeing the humour in things and became more light hearted and accepting.

Sec 3 was the power year. In came the shit batch. Nah joking. Now that i reflect, i think the sec 1s in 2007 are very very similar to us. Sec s became more involved and it was the year of the birth of the Mat room. What was so special about that year was we finally got together. Come to think of it, i dont kow how, we just did. Finch, who before this never mixed with us, somehow came good. I think this can be attributed to the fact that 6of us, thats half, were put in the same class. And that fatefull class was the only class in histiry, i think, that has less chinese than non-chinese. amazing. We did crazy stuff, hung around uselessly and Fuckle, the master mind, came up with this blog. He also made some wonderful videos which u all can go check out in his earlier posts. Life rocked in sec 3.

Then this year. WE all dread having to leave this school eventually, so we did stuff to try to emulate last year and pretend that were not going away for good. It was memorable,this year. The sec 3s are starting to take theri rightful shape as, i dono. The sec 2s and being a little closer to one another, but still not close enough. The new batch of sec 1s, are without doubt the weirdest bunch of dudes i met. I dont want to tak about them, not cos i hate them, theyre actually quite likeable. I just dont want to predict what they will become. Let them cock up. See how they turn out to be. Then post about them.

Well as it is, i am starting to get disconnected with this blog, a sure indicator or weakening ties. or at least laziness. Still, it isnt a good sign. Time for the pesanan to our predecessors. To the sec 3s, u all have come of age. Lead the way as we have tried to an as have others before us. Now anak mak dah besar, so must set a good example to ur juniors. good in ur own interpretations. heheh. Rmb ah, dun be like us, always stay close, dun like, alah senang aje cakap. Bros before hoes. Stick up for one another, even syafiq. that poor kid had it tough. i wonder if his childhood will ever be the same again.

Then to the sec 2s, next year dah long pants seh. I can vaguely see where ur going, and i daresay u all will make a fine batch. Just keep ut that effort in trying to be close. U allare cool ppl, contrary to Fuckles belief, cos he didnt have enought time to know u better. Not saying i know u better, just from wad i see. If u all bedek me ah, fuck you.

And sec 1s, hope is not lost. being stupidly weird does not stop you from being a cool batch. However it does pose a huge obstacle like the ones we had in OBS, only u have to face a big fat oily fish somewhere along the way. So beware and always wash ur underwear.

Ah well, thats it i guess. Hope this will not be the last time i post. Cos later, its 5.10 pm and i need to go ntuc to buy food. Chiaoz.

Urs hopefully not for the last time,
Fing.

PS, yang ade gambar grad nite tu, post lah. even better if u can find our batch song.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 3:52 PM