Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Thank You Tony Bear

whooaaaa people are posting like a post-it note (YEAH I'M ORIGINAL AND DIDNT SAY POSTER OR POSTMAN!!) and it's all thanks to one person. Okay maybe two. But primarily one. And it's the much-loved among the Malay community Mr Tonyyyy Blairrrr I mean Bearrrr! so on behalf of all readers of Siapa Tanya thank you very the much.

ok cukup. cukup. nanti dia kembang. but anyway although today we never kacau Mr Tony Bear, his presence still played a significant role in our lives, especially Finch. Thanks to him Finch could do his NSW writing shit, and it really was merepek giler shit but I'll leave him to (maybe, hopefully) post about it. But lets thank him once again now. wooooottt wooot.

oh no he too kembang sampai almost explode. better stop thanking him. so anyway, i totally support all the efforts to piss mr tony bear off while keeping on the "Forge line". we have proven that we are ready for anything though, as shown by the amazing transformation from messy lepak corner + indians to clean classroom with no indians in a mere 3 minutes or so. Not sure what Pu-no-who has against non-malays, but who cares this is about toh nee so lets keep it that way.

okkk dahbis dah nothing else to say but you dont care anyway so all go hip hip hooray cos friday is a holiday. byeee.

Shift.

ps: i dont care who the hell wins tonight but can there please be like 5 goals cos if no goals then i will fall asleep then wake up miss all the action. Like the turkey vs croatia game. arseholes.

pps: Tony Bear's sidekick is No Din. or Takde Din.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:28 PM

Monday, June 23, 2008

once in a blue moon thats red but at the same time green

hello people, finch here. Quite possibly one of the most inactive poster on this blog. For that i apologise.

Forge: It's tooo late to apologise
Every1 else: Dao

So anyway, the reason why i suddenly decided to ask muzzle for the username and password and then post was because i suddenly felt the inspiration to do so. All thanks to our damn excellent security guard Tony Bear. As muzzle mentioned, tony bear is too innocent a name for that ever pissed off sonovabiatch who like taking down ppls numbers and grabbing away our balls. So maybe we shud come up with a new name.

Big nehneh - Cuz his initials TB = tetek besar
Kocok King - Cuz Masterbeh
Tony Hawk - Cuz i dunno
Fucker - Cuz he's a fucker

So anyway, as fing has mentioned, we will try and get him tembaked BANG by making him constantly flip out his walkie talkie and say ' ah OM OM, gimme gimme b-low-j-o-b' and like call all the big big ppl come. The trick is , we have to piss him off by doing things that are still within the rules. Remember? Fing's theory of the forge line. Yah dun forget ah. So yes, feel free to participate in this new movement. All u have to do is just be at the mat room at around 4.20 pm. Also, i think we have to tone down abit in what we do in the mat room. Like can still play but like make sure the Excellent Security don't see. Cuz if they see, then the nohdick guy will come and give syarahan all and talk to us about what nabi would do and bla bla bla bla bla then never go sembahyang jumaat.

It is clear that some among us are afraid to stand up to kocok king or tetek besar or tony hawk or fucker but the thing is, if we use the proper approach at pissing him off, we are pretty much safe. Kk, this is one of the plans that me, fing,forge,muzzle and patch have decided on.

As usual, we slack at the mat room and do whatever we want but now we have to have at least one person as the look out. Then around 4.20, every pack their bags put against the wall, arrange table, clear any mess, take off shoe and go ambik wuduk. After that, continue screwing around with one guy as the look out. Later, when the alert is given, every1 start praying. If TB decides to 'OM OM gimme gimme b-low-j-o-b' he will kena jacked like fuck. And if the teacher decides to ask why we decided to pray at the same time, we can say that praying together is better and that we were having lunch sumwhere else b4. If TB decides that he has had enough b-low-j-o-b's and doesnt wanna call the OM anymore, then we just finish praying then chow and completely dao his balls. SET? SET..... I know this seems like alot of work, but if it works. WAHHHH orgasm sia. 


So yah, thats it for me now. I think my post not gd quality. Shit, must learn form postmasters like fing all.

Onward Combattenti Di Libertà!! Together will shall take down this new nemesis of ours.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:20 PM

Cukup Cukup. Thats Enough.

Heheh.

First of all, kudos to the sec 3s. They are starting to post posts of good quality, i think. Aaaand, special mention must be given to Happee-man, for he has succeeded in inventing a catchphrase whch is now quite commonly used to irritate others or simply to act like retards. The now common, CUKUP CUKUP!

Wah. Sememek sia. First day of school redi got problem. Like what the heck. That must be a new record. Ok fine, it was us who wanted to cari pasal with our dearly beloved Tony Bear. But he stirred up the unnecessary trouble. Lemme relate the story:

Once upon a time, at approximately 4 pm today, a group of fucktards, namely Finch, Muzzle, Patch, Patnic, Forge, Ngok, Khai and myself, the ever present-when-there-is-trouble Fing, were doing what we do best at one corner of the Seminar Room. Nothing. Then, Finch came up with this brilliant idea. Sort of like the previous Combatten (is that how u spell it?), we were going to have a sort of protest against Bear. Like, we tread along the fine lines between following the rules strictly and breaking the rules, carefully taking note not to cross that thin line. Thinner than Forge. EEEEHHH. How seh. So thin. No lah. U not thin, Forge. U know why? Cos, ANAK MAK DAH BESAR! Heheh. Cant help it. So this is how it works. First, we do something that doesnt break any rules, but will piss Bear off. Then wait for Bear to get pissed and "Call OM ah" or "Call Mr Teo ah." Then the PROPER authority turns up to settle the issue, jacking Bear, cleaning our names, and eventually getting Bear FIRED. F-I-R-E-D. Fired. Yep Wouldn't a school with no Bear be so blissful? Evne the heavy burden of Pu-No-Who cant dampen our spirits with her damp, err, everything. EEE. Stop fantasizing about her lah Patch. Heheh.

So we decided that at 4.30, the time Bear usually comes to lock up the classrooms, we would all line up infront of the door, wait for him to open then walk out, daoing him. So, just as we easily predicted, he came at 4.30, being the Excellent Security he is. He didnt let us out and said, "Wait arh, i call Discipline Head." We laughed our ass off. Sememek sia. And the worst part, or rather, the best part is when Mr Teo, our friendly Malaysian Chausia-er (again i dono how to spell. teruk, eh?), came into the room laughing. Wah that took the cake. Not that there was any to take, i would have eaten it first.

So there. End of story. Moral of the story, have fun and piss Bear off! just watch that Forge-like line. Heh. Alah dowan to talk about Excellence lah. Makes me sick. Ok fine, Shift. I might already be sick in the first place.

Ah. our chem teacher, MR CHG was being his retarded self. Patnic was happily using his phone in class, he took it and immediately said "OOh. i think i will make a long overseas call. U know what i will say? i will say, 'hello, hold on ah,' then i put the phone in my pocket." Retard. In the end, its ppl like him who really make our day. Speaking of which, its night time redi.

Hmm. I really got no inspiration to post about amusing stuff. Just wanted to share about the threat that Bear poses and that we should all do the 10-minute mozzie wipeout. Then, Bear will have nothing to eat. Kesian, eh tak kesian Fuck, u deserve it. Haha. Alamak. What to say ah?

Ok since i got nothing to say, i will end by giving u all a lame excuse for not posting more stuff, which is, QUIZ TIME!

Heheh. Seems the only one who bothers to try is Shift. So for his benefit, here goes:

What did u do that caused me to go run and scream?

Ah. This is hard. Think it over. The first one to guess the song correctly will get a "'Free Dingolfee" card which can be used to dingolfee anyone of your choice. Ah, Unkown, watch out. Some ppl just love dingolfeeing u, ahem ahem, Dertile.

Yours Mental-Block-ly,

Fing.

PS: Soya milk is nice. Buy it, its 1 dollar!

Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:52 PM

Saturday, June 21, 2008

excellent security!

hi. im muzzle, and i havent been posting much lately. Fing has been getting all the glory, honour and laughs and fing has been bugging me to post. You see, fing posts like a postman, almost everyday post post post. I post like a poster. I come out occationally to voice out our problems. The problems that the mat community is currently facing. PUNOWHO, our main BIG FAT HUGE ASS problem is the almighty sacred one which we will be having till our sec four days. or maybe even in RJ. PUNANI has also become a thing (no, not human) but thing to be daoed and ignored and punani is only meant for the KC!!!! WOOOOO!!!! to be sucked up. Dont be surpirsed next time the kc will support her pantat walking up the stairs. THE FUTURE EXCO OF MCC. (sorry IQ ballllll) pity, dertile, AM, budak giler, happee man and the rest of you fcktards. one thing you can do for the graduating batch of mats are to give BOB and the rest hell when we leave. make us proud.

okay, CUKUP2. PUNOWHO IS A HOT - no not hot. UGLY/FUGLY/DUGLY/SUGLY (or any other adjective that describes a huge blob of alien/monsterlike creater with a tudung) - TOPIC.

BUT GUYS. THERE ARE OTHER STUFF OUT THERE IN THE RAFFLES WORLD THAT NEEDS TO BE KNOWN BY US ALL.

since i was sec 1, the mat rooms (aka sem rms and also the previous room behind the hall) have been our place of worship. worship not only in praying.but worship because thats where all the dingolpheeing, the games and the slacking and the bonding takes place. some entities in our dear ol school are trying to jeopardize our freedom of usage in the room. ALSO, these entities seem to only pick on brown coloured /white uniformed/spastic students in RI. no no no NOT the swimmers! but US. yes US. the united states of america. NO just kidding. US as in the malay community excluding kc.

these "entities" are none other than THE SECURITY GUARD - TONY BEAR and the MALAY SECURITY GUARD WHO PREACHES ALOT -er........ I DONT KNOW HIS NAME!

okay tony bear has been prowling everywhere in schools. his manjan never bathe eyes scour for us mats doing anything mischievous like climbing into sem rooms, making noise, slacking or even PRAYING and maybe to the extent of breathing heavily. get my drift? he is one helluvan asshole. he comes bursting in the room and just says get out! get out! im locking! or IM GOING TO CALL OM. YOU GUYS WATCH OUT.

recently enough, fing, stitalicious, patch, finch, PATNIC!, forge's particulars has been taken down just for .... guess what?.. just for kicking a ball around. ALSO, PATNIC and yours ever so truly - muzzle, ARE BLACKMARKED or what you call it? ermm.. TARGETED for being defiant and well just plainly fighting back for whats right so to speak.

*flashback* we were playing soccer on the ASTRO TURF. and he STOPPED US FROM PLAYING SAYING ITS NOT ALLOWED! of course me and npathy jacked him by asking him to call the authorities only to be jacked by getting a positive reply and finally just letting us play.

not only that. just today. he scolded us for playing KARMA (or for those of you who dont know karma, PLAYING PASSING AGAINST THE WALL UNDER THE CLOCK TOWER) and this time he called LOW JUNE MENG. so i spoks to him, ever so angellically, and low june meng didnt see the need nor the seriousness of the situation to call me. obviously we were doing nothing wrong. so with the help of stitch, npathy and abit of my stubborness to succumb to defeat and let him confiscate our ball and take down my particulars, we managed to swat him off... for the time being.

according to him, patnic and my faces are being remembered by him and he asks us to watch out. and so goes to the REST OF YOU. i guess we should stay out of trouble by not showing him what we do. IF WE GET CAUGHT DOING THINGS THAT ARE INNOCENT, we retaliate. its very obvious he only picks on malays. and we get pissed off. im sure you guys will relate to this pretty well, judging how many times he chased us and threatened us.

you know whats funny? TONY BEAR WEARS A CAP THAT SAYS "EXCELLENT SECURITY" AND FLAUNTS HIS "EXCELLENT-NESS" BY CATCHING US PRAYING AND DOING INNOCENT STUFF THAT ISNT AGAINST THE LAW. WHAT A NON BATHING, FCKING RETARD! OH, THE IRONY.

okay. i guess thats it.

remember....

once there was punowho, and now theres tony bear.
what should we do?
YOU tell me.


muzzle

Posted by Mat Raffles at 7:19 PM

Friday, June 6, 2008

Explosion, Fire........................and more Fire

Yellow=Happee
Lepas tu,3, happee=happeeman......

Cukup,cukup (legs wide open with right palm facing u ppl)

K ah, cukup of all the equatic nonsense, and why in the world people make yellow a happy color? How i know, go ask the people who make red an angry color and purple a gay color ah... And who in the world knows what beige represents..... U dont know, i also dont know, hahahaha.... Cukup2

Have u ever tried to imagine white stuff flying all over the place, sprouting out like fireworks..... Thats what you get when you have a huge fire burning down a factory.....
Wlau, go clean your brains lah you sick people who were thinking of other stuff.

Anyway, i was trying to talk about my very wawaweewa experience in the middle of the night..... No.... not THAT experience, the experience of looking at a factory being engulfed by fire. Kay, let me start my story from the beginning..........
I was asleep on my bed, dreaming of happee dreams, when all of a sudden.....Kababoooom!!!Badabadabooom!!!!Boom!!!Boom!!!Boom!!! A few loud explosions broke the midnight silence. Yalah, ppl want to sleep also can kacau. I Woke up straight away sia, in the blink on an eye, eh actually, two eyes, i saw the factory across my house bursting into flames..... I tot i was dreaming, so i did what some idiots would do, slap they're faces untill redred. Wah then i know i wasnt dreaming..... The fire like some atomic bomb nye blast siol. Wah i tell you, the sky from black like serious black become red like red riding hood sia. Then suddenly the fire became bigger and bigger, like some Pokemon evolving..... I got scared ah, so i gave 2 options to myself:

Option 1,not2 or 3,) Go to sleep
Option 2, not 2 or 100) Go try to sleep

So i tried option 1, alamak punye lah susah...... So on to option 2..... Did i succeed?? Jengjengjeng.....
Yes, i did manage to sleep.......................NOT!!! I was too amazed that i decided to watch the fire all night long, and watch the firemen try to extinguish the fire....HAHA, like watching ants trying to fight human being sia..... The fire damn freaking huge, alamak, how the firemen want to wipe it out..... Alamak.... you all should have been wif me to watch it ah..... damn nice....
And the ironic thing about the whole thing........ it was raining about 1km away from the fire... hahahahaha..... damn jack sia......

After my long long long long post, i bet all of you still dont believe me.... Alamak go watch the news or go read tomorrow paper ah......

Yeah, so thats all for my first ever post, like wah first post sia, not second or third or fourth sia..... and if you all think i have more to say well i have..... more more more more more more.....

Cukup2

Yours happeely,
Happeeman

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:14 PM

Sememek Ultraman

Hello.

The holidays are like half empty. Dont blame me for being so pessimistic. There isnt much to be positive about these days, since electrons recently left me. haha. Forge, go and laugh. I appreciate the laughter for lame jokes. Quite nice.

Anyway. There is no way that i can find a way to go away from the given way. Shit man. Like, ok, there isnt actually much homework. Its just, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who really isnt such a bad person when she is high, gave a pile of shit she calls homework, smiles sweetly and says "Selamat Mengarang!" Like "Thank You, sweet little thing." My ASS ah. Like WTH man! we have a life too, you know. And for me, i need to file my papers which are all squished in my bag and if i dont take them out soon, they will become paper mache. My chem needs improving, or i will die, in the words of the wise mr CHG. Dammit. Life is hard. Not harder than a hockey stick, though. Speaking of which, Zeks got whacked in teh face by one. Dam nice and confusing. I saw them all happyhappy still playing hockey with no shinpads and all. Fun right?

Then skali, some innocent but fucking irritating sec 1 mat called Ilya, swung softly at the ball but after making contact with the ball, he somehow accelerated the velocity of the stick all the way till it was above his head and WHAM!

Zeks got hit.

Just like that. And poor little Ilya, literally, hes dam little, went to the clocktower, packed his bag and went off like, i dono, like, ah whattheheck lah. He went off. Zeks was like, wah lao no guts to talk to me all that shit. Already he was in bad mood cos some blissfully ignorant sec one, not Ilya, i think his name was Adam, was whacking his stick on the floor for no dam reason. I say. the sec 1s are wierd. And which other sec 1 would agree to get stripped? Like say, ahem ahem, Martyn?

I still rmb four years ago. Finch got stripped by the then sec 4s. He cried and we all were like stoning cos we didnt know what to do. The only diff this time was, Martyn was willing, and he sure didnt cry. Good job, Martyn. We salute You. and your little Winky. Heheh.

Eh see lah. I cant even remember why i wanted to post. Oh ya. The overnight in School. Dam fun. If only we didnt get like dam last minute pangseh from 3 very special people. Ok lah. One already gave a legitimae reason and told us early. So nvm. The other one also was like dam sorry sorry. Also nvm, cos i know hes dam ikutikut orang tanpa using brain. Ppl go concert, he oso go. So naturally, ppl go home, he oso go home. Left the one monkey.

I shall not reveal his identity, cos its dam bad to do so, but, hey, i htink he was dam bad to me. I was like persuading my mum to let me go just cos i know he and the other guy's parents let them overnight. I wanted to like at least be there so even if noone else was there i could make up numbers and we could still have some fun, but nooooo. Both pangseh us. If not for Muzzle, Stittalicious, Gred and Nicglim, It would have been a dam lonely night. So thanks guys.

Ah.

Dont know why. I feel dam sleepy. Oh wait, one more thing. the adidas marathon was super duper fun. too bad the same culprits couldnt make it also. We sat there, played some game a bored fella called Dixon invented, called Lord of The Rings, slept on the roadside, cycled and for me crashed. I didnt know how that could happen. Like, suddenly, GEDEBAK! I smashed into the concrete wall. I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED. Even if i did i wouldnt admit it so there. Stop asking me. We got like 3-4 rounds of free ice-cream, got free massage, saw a shitload of hot girls, blahblahblah. It was dam unforgettable. AS in, i can remember everything as if it was a week ago.

Because it WAS a week ago. HAH!

For the last time. Goodnight.

No not last time forever. As in last time in this post.

Chiaoz.

Fing

PS: kalau ade orang tu terasa, sori eh, tapi memang nak dirasakan. HEHEH. Dol. I takde kerja. For those who dun understand malay, i said, i got no job. Which is true. Im still schooling.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:14 PM