Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Aww shitheads.

Well after that post from Fing I felt I had to post. I mean come on. Not a single joke in that about me? This is SPARTAAAA, eh, I mean SIAPA TANYAAAA! We're supposed to be funny (or lame, or ridiculous but most of the time, funny.) Like me. I'm dammmmn funny. NOT

So in the interests of this blog, I have decided to invest in a huge neon sign to be placed at the top of this blog. You know those TV shows where they have a live audience? Well I can't really remember where I got this idea from, but I think they have signs like "APPLAUSE!" that light up whenever the audience is supposed to applaud. Not only for the idiots in the audience, mind you, but also for the deaf. You see, if they can't hear you clapping, how the hell would they know if it was time to clap or not. They might just either think you're retarded or you're damn cold and trying to stay warm. So seriously. Think of the deaf before you do anything.

But I digress. This huge neon sign of ours will not read applause, because people might think you're stupid if you applaud while reading a blog post no matter how good it is (like this one). Try it out now. APPLAUSE!

Hahahahaha see my point. dumbasses. so anyway, my (ours, fine, whatever) will read, "LAUGH!" In bright neon pink. At the top of the page. So anytime when there's a funny joke or shit that you're SUPPOSED to laugh at in posts, the sign will light up and remind you to fucking laugh. Or else. We may even put a rainbow on the sign so that MSN China will donate some loose change to those earthquake victims or whatever even though I have no idea how they know who puts that rainbow on their msn. They're watching us I tell you. Aaargh.

So yeah now that that sign is installed I can get onto my post proper without worrying that people either are too sad to laugh or too stupid to see the jokes. So anyway the past two days I have had direhoarea or however the hell you spell it. Ahh you know, the terrible disease that causes you to crap a lot. Hmm I think I have permanent direhaorea. (laugh!)
But seriously, I even had to pon assembly. And poor Fing actually had to go. Awww.

I've run out of funny things to say. Damn. Ah well, time for the tried and tested method of providing links to funny places. Like this one. The FAIL Blog

don't you just love to laugh at sadness? ok thats all this week. oh I almost forgot one more thing. who cares about the champs league when there are more exciting stuff happening with the blue half of manchester? FOLLOW THE LINKY! (may contain content that will over-excite those of you readers who are.. um.. less then straight. or those who like to touch dicks. you know who you are.) LINKY!

so to end it offff.. oops the sign just exploded. this blog must have been too funny for it. ah, who cares, just another few thousand dollars off the mcc fund. anyway, as i was saying, WE HAVE A REPUTATION. like all these shit raffles campaigns like to do, I even came up with a catchphrase.

FUCK it. Love it.

Shift.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:08 PM