Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Aww shitheads.

Well after that post from Fing I felt I had to post. I mean come on. Not a single joke in that about me? This is SPARTAAAA, eh, I mean SIAPA TANYAAAA! We're supposed to be funny (or lame, or ridiculous but most of the time, funny.) Like me. I'm dammmmn funny. NOT

So in the interests of this blog, I have decided to invest in a huge neon sign to be placed at the top of this blog. You know those TV shows where they have a live audience? Well I can't really remember where I got this idea from, but I think they have signs like "APPLAUSE!" that light up whenever the audience is supposed to applaud. Not only for the idiots in the audience, mind you, but also for the deaf. You see, if they can't hear you clapping, how the hell would they know if it was time to clap or not. They might just either think you're retarded or you're damn cold and trying to stay warm. So seriously. Think of the deaf before you do anything.

But I digress. This huge neon sign of ours will not read applause, because people might think you're stupid if you applaud while reading a blog post no matter how good it is (like this one). Try it out now. APPLAUSE!

Hahahahaha see my point. dumbasses. so anyway, my (ours, fine, whatever) will read, "LAUGH!" In bright neon pink. At the top of the page. So anytime when there's a funny joke or shit that you're SUPPOSED to laugh at in posts, the sign will light up and remind you to fucking laugh. Or else. We may even put a rainbow on the sign so that MSN China will donate some loose change to those earthquake victims or whatever even though I have no idea how they know who puts that rainbow on their msn. They're watching us I tell you. Aaargh.

So yeah now that that sign is installed I can get onto my post proper without worrying that people either are too sad to laugh or too stupid to see the jokes. So anyway the past two days I have had direhoarea or however the hell you spell it. Ahh you know, the terrible disease that causes you to crap a lot. Hmm I think I have permanent direhaorea. (laugh!)
But seriously, I even had to pon assembly. And poor Fing actually had to go. Awww.

I've run out of funny things to say. Damn. Ah well, time for the tried and tested method of providing links to funny places. Like this one. The FAIL Blog

don't you just love to laugh at sadness? ok thats all this week. oh I almost forgot one more thing. who cares about the champs league when there are more exciting stuff happening with the blue half of manchester? FOLLOW THE LINKY! (may contain content that will over-excite those of you readers who are.. um.. less then straight. or those who like to touch dicks. you know who you are.) LINKY!

so to end it offff.. oops the sign just exploded. this blog must have been too funny for it. ah, who cares, just another few thousand dollars off the mcc fund. anyway, as i was saying, WE HAVE A REPUTATION. like all these shit raffles campaigns like to do, I even came up with a catchphrase.

FUCK it. Love it.

Shift.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:08 PM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Saddness. Pass it on.

Hey.

You know, change is good. It really is. Like imagine if u didnt change ur underwear after 5 days. Yup its bad. But too much of change isnt good either and this it what my post will be about. So please do not expect so much humor in this post as it serves to send a strong message to all.

These days, our great batch isnt what it once used to be. Nobody notices it. There is something terribly wrong with the current sec 4 batch and it makes me uncomfortable. Now please do not get offended if i talk about you, cos its just some examples i will be using. Furthermore, this post isnt meant to offend anyone in particular. Its just to, as i said, send a message across and hope to change things.

Lookie here. As i said, do not get offended. Patch used to be a peace-maker. Always on the neutral side of things, which is no side at all. He was always the well-behaved one among all of us and never offended anyone. But lately, i dono. i really dont. Hes now like, how do u say it, more disruptive? no. thats not the word. i mean, he is taking sides more often now. And he is starting to offend people. I dont know how to put it. My english isnt good enough to conjure a word to describe what i think. Maybe he isnt. I dont know. Maybe its just me. This is how i see it. Please correct me if im wrong, cos i really have no idea and is merely hypothesizing.

Then there Finch. He used to be like a dam fun guy who mixes with everybody and was quite patient. Now, he still is a dam fun guy, just, not in the same way. I mean, dont get offended or anything, but i really think he is getting a little stuck up. And im not the only one. A few others think so too. Dont get me wrong. i dont hate you guys. Like i said, we are all changing. Just not in the way we like.

And theres the ever-troubled Stitalicious. Now, i dont think he frequents this blog, so i can use this as a means to gather support. If he does, good for him. Nowadays, he prioritises play over work. thats not a bad thing, as we all do it. the thing is, he never works and always plays. It is therefore up to us to help him. We can try and its true that he can choose not to accept it, but thats why we really need to do our best to help him. He doesnt do his assignments and only passes cos hes been cheating. Well, where do you think he gets his resources? From his trusted mats, of course. Or if not, he gets it from the friends of the mats, the munjens in Muzzles class. Okay, i shall not bitch about him cos it wont be doing him any favours, im just going to ask u all to observe this movement called the "revolution."

Ah. The simplicity of it. Now to explain. For the sake of Stitalicious, we need to lay down the foundations and we can do that by firmly putting our foot down and stepping up as the leader. Anyone can do it. Why? Cos the reason he goes about doing as he pleases is that he thinks or feels, thanks to us, that he has power over us and that he can easily control us. Like we are his slaves. So when we want to get things done, he will be the initiator. Not anymore. From this day, we be the initiators. When any of us wants to get something done, the rest of us must pakat and go along. Do not wait for him to start. By slowly stripping him of the mentality that hes the boss, we can hopefully influence him for the better.

Also, another way to make this revolution happen is to enforce a strict dao on him. Not all the time lah nutheads. We dao him only when it needs to be done. Like when hes supposed to be going for any remedial but is instead playing around, we ask him to go. we should even go to the remedial to accompany him. If not, we dao him. Simple. This plan could work, but the reason this plan hasnt been working is because it hasnt garnered enough support. When Muzzle, Finch, Patch Forge and i dao him, he goes to other sources of entertainment, namely the sec 3s. Thats y u all, especially Budak Giler, have to not be so influenced by him and to stand firm against him, even if it means losing him as a friend, cos that is the only way u all can help him. By stamping out all his resources, he will realise that he cant do anything but study, or go home, the latter which will get boring after a while, and thus, he will be forced to join us.

Hey, this is all for his sake. I it fails, i daresay i would rather him stay back in ri at sec 4 and finally learn his lesson, than moving on to jc and struggle somemore. It really is up to us, as his friends.

Saying all that i have said, i have to declare that i am no saint either. I do realise that i am become more and more irritating and unbearable (again, blame the bear.). If so, forgive me. I vow to change my ways if it means improving the bonds our batch shares. It really is saddening to see our once extremely close batch become merely very close. I really do not want to end my life in RI in this note, so for what its worth, lets work together to make it happen. And i do realise the reason why Patch has been so, i dono how to say, is because i constantly bug him. Heheh, Cant help it.

But for our sake, especially Stitalicious', we need to change.

Yours greivingly, Fing.

PS: for my quiz , here it is.
Qn: when the best falls down, what do you and i do?

Hinthint: song, again.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 7:26 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

i'll see what i can do for u.

hi. the only reason im posting is because i cudnt stand not sharing this. and also a bit because i havnt posted for damn long.

went to rj during lunch. blahblahblah. coming back from lunch. the rest went alrdy, so it was me STITALICIOUS and BUDAK GILER left. then a random vj (i think) girl came to us and like advertised some relief concert for myanmar after being hit by the cyclone nargis thingy. showed us a poster.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leannelim/2482225253/

her: hi, this is a concert held to raise funds for myanmar. would u like to go? veeerryyy cheap.
TEN DOLLARS ONLY (wtf lah. but this is not the worst part). real price is like much more expensive. there will be local bands performing.

BUDAK GILER: oh, cyclone nargis performing ah? (genuine stupidity or not, i dont noe. he said he seriously didnt noe.)

her: nono, cyclone nargis is not performing.

i cant remember much, but we started talking about how expensive the tickets were. then

her: hmm... maybe u all just go please. ask ur friends. if the 3 of u go, i'll see what i can do for u. (smile smile)

fuck man.

3 of us: laughing our asses off.

her: go lah please.

STITALICIOUS: we got open house for our sch. end at 5.

her: but this starts at 6.30. go lah pls. if u 3 go, i will give a special price for u. (i think she started to realise what we were laughing at, then she was like mega mega horny smile blink blink eyes. IWISHBIRDSHITDROPPEDONHERHEADATTHATEXACTMOMENTANDTHEGUYNEXTTOUSTRYINGTOSELLUSBUBBLETEAWOULDSPILLSOMEONHERANDBLAHBLAH. sedar diri lah pls.)

worse still.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leannelim/489974707/

thats her. found while searching for the myanmar poster. uh.

forge. argh.

Hey Fing here. Just so you know, Forge clownishly put the unmentionable and i have duly edited it. please exercise greater care when posting and not post anyhow or i will dingolfee u.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:21 PM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

its so damn hard to spell weird correctly. wierd.

Hi, I'm Shift and I'm sec 4 and just finished my mid-year exams.

When you say that to yourself it sounds so damn weird. Firstly, I can't believe I'm fucking Sec 4. Yes, I know I'm not the only one. But yeah, when I look at the whole batch, and think to myself, these are the most mature people in the whole malay RI community I laugh. HAHAHA. And it's already nearing the end of term 2. We'll be joining Fuckle and Mavado before long and leaving behind Dertile and dear beloved Bob. Awwww. And second reason why it sounds weird is: who the hell calls themselves Shift? But thats not the extremeness of weirdness I can go to. No, listen to this.

Hi, I'm Shift and I'm sec 4 and just finished my mid-year exams and now I'm playing hide and seek with Sewel.

Even if I deleted the whole of the sentence except the last sentence it would still be damn weird. Because its Sewel. If you put Sewel and Shift side by side you would have a damn power combo. Serious.

Wow, I'm already lost for words. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, now. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe I'm retarded. NOOOOO I'M NOT RAWWRRRRR. But whatever. I think I'll stop before I get the chance to get worse. =(

Oh wait I've got something damn cool to show you guys. Look at this damn interesting news.

CLICK ME!

Make sure no one is around though cos its.. um.. well its not for the young and immature (that means you can la Forge.) OK I'm gone.

Shift (not sheath or sheef or seth unless got typo).

Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:20 AM

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Huh?

Hey!

Gred finally posted!! WOOT!!
If im not wrong, hes the last guy to start posting among all the retards with the backs of their heads displayed. So kudos to you Gred, for taking up 30 minutes of your life dedicating yourself to post that SHORT, ahem ahem, SHORT, greeting to finally introduce yourself. No hard feelings. Just hard dicks. Heheh.

Anyway, i have a few things to clear. First, my problem with Shift. Seems he acts retarded in school. Acting, i dont know. Probably not. But still, it causes us to not be able to resist a little squirt on his shirt with a squirtbottle. Dam. Those were the days. I dont do it anymore. Cos im now a mature, responsible guy. Eh you, dont laugh okay?

What? I am mature and responsible what.

Anyway, the test are finally over! Well, most of the tests, that is. We still have chem open book assignment and some maths TA. What a killjoy. Like, send them to jail. Cos they killed Joy. And who the eff is Joy? Haha. Nice one. I just did a Forge. No more trying to remember what happens when a kidney fails. It would cause all the stuff like urine-related stuffs. I dont know. Hey this remind s me of a joke. What does the Sun and us do together?

Think.


*hinthint* a song.

Got it yet? For those smart ones like *ahemahem* Shift, you would probably know the answer. I shall not reveal it yet. Go think over it. Think long long until your hair strong strong to go and sing a song song. Wow. I can be a poet. I write beautiful poetry. In fact, i shall write one now.

Roses are rosy,
Voilets are violet.
The original poem doesnt make sense,
And neither does this.

Hah.

No seriously, i shall write a new one. Spontaneous. Lets go.

I like to smell fart,
they stink like shit.
When throwing a dart,
Remember to make a hit.

Tadaa! What a poem. See what did i tell you?

Ah. Pictures. I love them. My last post had no purpose but to cram as many photos into one post as i can. Fortunately enough, my com didnt lag halfway. So there. My pictures. AAAAnd, i will scour the school from now on, to catch pictures of the clownish stuff you all do. So smile! Your on candid camera!

BTW, i did fail my cheem chem test. 15/35. Kesian. I studied for it so much that i didnt have time to study for physics, which i probably failed. This just goes to show how fair the world is and that no matter how hard i try, i cant manage to strip Martyn.

Until next time, adios, dont dig nose.

Fing.

PS: if you find my post getting more and more unbearable, do not blame me.. Blame the bear.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:53 PM

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

t3h gred one finally posts...

I dunno wat made me actually do this but im doing it. finally. After almost one whole year gred, one of the 'supposed founding members' finally decides to grace this blog with his presence (yea rite). Whee. At a bad time too, I must add. Im cracking up, just like my ankle. Well... nothing much to say, just that im daaaaaaaaaaaamn bored... who wouldnt be if theyre cooped up at home with a ****ed ankle. anyway nice pic u posted, fing. Captures the essence of me. Love goes out to all the mats out there mugging for bio tomoro. Have fun, while im stuck at home, icing my leg. See you guyz on friday, when punani's gonna bitch arnd during the Meeting for Crappy Cocksuckers.

Singing off, (no, that aint a typo)

the Gred one.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:13 PM

Sunday, May 4, 2008

WTF not again....

Heya!

Im back. Back inside your backside.

Whew. I finally realised how it feels like to mug properly for a test. It was horrible! Like, shit man. I study so hard for chem just to hear rumors that i failed the mcq part. Either i really did fail the mcq part and im a dumbass (which is probably true), or, some asshole decided to try and make me feels bad or demoralised or suff that can make me jump off the second floor of the junior block. It wont kill me, but it will definitely hurt like hell. If the latter is true, i will seriously kick the guys ass so hard that he will fly to China and even the chinese there will say, "Eee, his ass is an imitation."

Ok. Thats enough insulting myself and china in one paragraph.

Btw, Sewel has posted! WOOHOO! Soon, the floodgates will open and all the dormant, sleepy sec threes wil finally be awaken. Speaking of which, i find that almost every morning, I find a certain creature in a deep slumber. He will wake up when he hears the sound of soccer balls hitting the wall and sounding as if the whole dam thing is going to collapse. Say hello to:
Dertile!
Ah. The beauty of it. What feels nicer than to sleep early in the morning just after arriving for school and knowing that you have not studied for a test? Nothing, of course!
Then again, nothing also feels closer to nature than a lizard. Why? Cos we have an abundance of it in this school! Dont believe me? Check it out.
Ok that was only one lizard. But if you were observant enough, you would notice that it was standing on a rock. A huge rock. Why? this is because, underneath that rock, there is a hole. Not that hole, you pervs. A hole where a whole swarm of lizards live. I know that because i have seen it before. Really. Wah u all dont believe me? fine. Be like that. Later when you all penat and want to sit on that rock, then you know. Then you can post a picture of your asses after you encounter the lizards. Cos they are not friendly.


Anyway, on to the latest craze to hit the mud. Recently, our dear member, who hasnt posted since the dinosaurs started to eat each other, Gred, discovered a talent of his. He could wall-walk! like, amazing sia. Hes gotten so dam pro at it, he can wall-walk over 5 chairs placed along the wall, side by side. Whoa. He even attempted to jump off the wall and do a backflip. Unfortunately, he only ended up landing on the floor looking retarded, like this.


Yep. Hes good. I cant even do 2 chairs. Call it psychomotor problems. I dont care. I just think my feet has got no grip.


Anyway, I should really be going to study Bio. Like wth man. I studied Excretion in the bloody long notes for 2 day only yo realise that i did not know how to answer the key understanding questios after that. Sigh. Talk about trying to work hard.


Oh, that isnt a stunt. Thats just Patch being retarded.


Until I finally pass my chem test, Chiaoz.


PS: the day before yesterday was my birthday. u know, the date i was born. so, hooray!
PPS: Deathweek is upon us again. Please study hard to produce an admirable result. Then Punani cant say we are losers.

Fing.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 7:41 PM