Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Arificial Intelligence

Sewel Baybeh!!!
i am the lost sheep here cos im the oni sec 3 posting but wat the hell...baik ah mavadodo
we mat people have an artificial field in our school which is as artificial as AM's intelligence or dertile's maturity..thats why AM hav gt artificial intelligence.anyways, when the sun is hot and like sewel panas giler, the field gets super duper sewel hot and we, being mats don wear shoes when playing soccer. and so, stupid people tries to be more stupid and do stupid stuff.stupid people! i dowan explain alot, let the video tell the story.
TAKE NOTE AH its super duper hot

You know its good

cos its sewel la sia

Posted by Mat Raffles at 6:38 PM

Friday, April 18, 2008

mebak

NOICE I'M BAKK
hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's MAVADOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eh long time no post AH SIAK.
good to see that you fellas are still tight night ALTHOUGH too tight in some ways. so tight until you alll play touchy touchy ah. walau eh that one seriously cannot.

BUT that's not what i'm here for. i'm gonna post again soon cos now i wanna go shlip, but i just decided to drop by quickly.

though its nice to see everyone still so active, i'd like to er kinda say that to me ah its quality over quantity. sometimes ah. ok ah not in this case. in our blog EVERYTHING IS GOOD. except when you all merepek too much. er cos that's kinda obvious in the blog now. there are hell lot of hardkoremerepeklameGILER posts floating around.

while i don't want you to stop having fun, i'd like to remind you that we have an image to uphold. we come from a very prestigious secret agency, and people have their expectations of us. so to all you prospective investors, DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND YET THE GOOD STUFF IS WAITING TO COME OUT.

so the next time ya wanna post, think a little bit ah. like don't spam all your inside jokes for one whole frickin page cos no one's gonna understand. jangan nak step literary pro and go write your post in some weird format ah, i think you get it. and don't merepek until even i cannot tahan. its nice ah once in awhile but if too much ah... WOOH, natgoodnatgood.

so have fun, DON'T BE GAY, stay bonded, keep posting, use your kepala HOTAKKK more and don't make noise when people solat.

seeyounexttimeonartattackCHEERIO

mavado

Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:34 AM

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

RAWRGH.

Hi. It's me. I'm back. Yay. lets smile. =)

Heck, enough with the niceness. I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm probably gonna get screwed tomorrow for not doing my math assignment and my karangan. My ass hurts, my brain hurts (or at least the part where it's supposed to be at hurts ie my chest. or was it my elbow. either one lah.) and I'm posting on Siapa Tanya. Why? I'm trying to think of an answer but my chest/elbow doesn't seem to be responding so I'll let me think for an answer while I try to bore you with something.

Since I'm not being nice and everything, I guess I today's theme shall be things that I get pissed off at. So firstly. Stupid names for places. The prime example being the wonderful, majestic, historic, horlicks, PADANG. I can totally see the guys who thought up of that name racking their brains for such an inspirational name. Hmm, it's a field so what should we call it? They probably looked for field in every single language possible such as

English - Field
Chinese - 领域
French - champ
German - Fieldch
Arabic - fa alif ya dal

etc. (the first three are correct if anyones wondering.) And then inspiration. EUREKA! We'll call it.. The padang. yay. I think we should simplify everything in Singapore like this. RI can be renamed to The School. Oh shit, that won't work. Aha, we can be The School version 1.0. Then all the other schools can be other versions. I mean, come on, don't tell me you've never had a moment when you looked at, say, some paper with the words "Catholic High" on it and you wonder wtf, is that some kind of disease where you get addicted to cats? My system will work. A school is a school. And we can go rename MRT as The Train. Esplanade can be named The Place That Some People Think Looks Like A Durian But It Obviously Isn't Because Firstly It Isnt Green And Secondly I Bit It And My Teeth Broke. A mouthful, but so much simpler than the ambigous Esplanade.

Actually, I think this plan is already in action. Strangely, they seem to apply to rugby games venues. Like Old Police Academy. So it's old. and it's a police academy. What if they decide to renovate it? Then it can be called something like the Previously Old Police Academy Until We Decided To Renovate It Until It Became Newer Than The New Police Academy. Bloody hell.

Okay actually I do have something else to be pissed about but my elbow just told me that I should go to sleep. But at least I posted. So there Fing. nananana.

Oh wait before I go, I wish the worst of luck for Manchester United in all upcoming competitions. Thank You. =)

PS: I should really stick with one colour.

Sheath.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:48 PM

Revival!

Hiya!

Im back. Again. For like the third time this week. OMG. I just realised that i dont have a life. Ok lah i do cos im still living (ah a joke comparable to Forge's all-time legends). The point is, i dont think any of you realise what this means. If you do, go read a dictionary. If you dont, continue reading this post. It means that i, a sec four guy, dude, whatever you call me, who is supposed to be diligently studying like Muzzle and training diligently like Muzzle and playing games like Muzzle and watching TV like Muzzle and God knows what like Muzzle, is actually not doing any of the above, precisely one to two lines above.

This really has very serious implications, (Ripley's) believe it or not. It means that i will fail every test if i continue to indulge in this mindless lifestyle similar to that of a couch with a potato on it. Unless of course if i have the persuading skills of Avinash the Lightning Liar. Yep. Let me relate to you an incident that got moi blood boiling. Except that my blood wasnt bubbling. Even though it has alot of oxygen, and thus, according to Chong Han Guang's theory of clown, is supposed to bubble due to the fact that the oxidised blood id being reacted......

Shit. Intellectual stuff. Please stop before my mind fuses out.

It was a dam hard philo test. Philo. and naturally, being a subject you had to pass to downgrade yourself to the next sec, alot of people failed. Including me. No surprises there, eh? Most of us took it well. But not Avinash the Veiny Vulture. He went and begged for marks from the teacher after class and guess what. He passed! I was like OMGJHFDGJSGOAFGOMGOASGAGHOMG!
WTF WAS ALL THAT??!! It was so pissing, i felt like pissing on piss whish was pissed by a pissed of pisser. Wow. That was like six pisses in one legitimate sentence. Must be a record. So wheres my trophy?

Speaking of pissing, our dear friend Mavado tried to think of stupid things for us to do, since we are too stupid to do so ourselves. Kaching! Time for another episode of Fing's Ironical Irony! That was quite cool. Think about it. We are too STUPID to think of Stupid stuff. Boy we must be STUPIDSTUPID. Or we must be too clever to think about stupid stuff. Which contradicts what i said about being too stupid to think of stupid stuff and thus is a stupid statement in itself but if i could think of a stupid statement why cant i think of stupid things to do since they are both stupid?

Confused?

Kudos to you if you tried to make sense of it all. Cos it isnt even relevant to the post. HAH! gotcha.

Ok back to reality. Remembering 2007, Mavado refered to when Fuckle pissed in a bottle in the room and tossed the bottle around. Only thing is, Mavado suggested that we stood in a circle and took aim to piss in the bottle sitting nicely on the floor. WOOHOO! Great suggestion Mavado! Only, there are some people, I will not mention who, who refuse to let their dicks have some fresh air, eh Muzzle? Then, after the bottle is half filled with piss, close it loosely and toss it around, the loser being the guy who has pee spilt all over him. HAH. Nice try Mavado. Let me see you do it before i do it.

Btw, what do you get when you have two squirty bottles filled with water and two bored retards?

Answer: You get a game of Water Wars!

It is a fun simple and addictive game. Patch and I ran around the block meant for juniors and try to sneak up on each other to squeeze the content of the bottle on each other! It was like, wawaweewa! and we both got wet. Plus Patch got sick. Kesian. Shouldnt have used water-cooler water. Anyway, whats a little fun without its risks? NOTHING! Simple? YES! Fun? YES! Must you be retarded to play it? YES! Do you need a PE shirt to play it? YES! Am i retard? YES!

I guess this signals the revival of the downpour of games that we used to have. I just hope that this continue to grow. BTW, Shift? i havent read one of you lame blogs in a while. COuld you put one up so i can pull out my hair and kick myself reading it? i do like your ideas cos they are lame and is also lame. Not to forget that they are lame. Above all, they are lame.

Oh shit time to go do my karangan. Seeya!

Fing

Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:47 PM

Monday, April 7, 2008

Jinx

Hello. Im back after a brief (not the underwear kind, the "shortwhile kind") break. The reason? a coolio guy called Happyman has given me the inspiration to post! And, without looking at the title (i'm guessing most of you nutheads don't look at the title of posts we all make), try to guess what i am going to talk about. And dont worry, shift, i dont think i will be insulting you in this post. *Hint Hint* look up at the title.

What did i just say?

You clearly werent listening. I said to dont look up at the title and also to look up at the title. So according to newtonian laws of elemental spirits, you should really be imploding within yourselves when you try to do what i told you. Of course, it really isnt even possible in the first place, since Newton's name sounds like Newt and On. Newts, if you still dont know, are living thing like reptiles and always lies. so yeah. Dont listen to Newton. The lightbulb thing was a lucky hit. For all we know, he could have been sleeping as the lightbulb supposedly lighted up and thus, couldnt think straight.

Back to my point. you cant please everybody. But every body can please you. It certainly can please me.

Anyway, before the digression in a digression, i was talking about his strange event or supernatural event called JINX! It occurs when two people randomly say the same word at the same time, causing both parties to be momentarily stunned and then shout "JINX!" What happens next is purely hypothetical. As the giler Budak Giler theorized, both parties should count to ten as fast as they can and if they finish first, the person must shout I WIN! like it isnt already obvious. If you finish first, you surely win, unless you are playing some retarded game called Strip Poker. You finish taking off your clothes first, you lose.

Another version goes as Avinash the gay muscleman hypothesizes. You say the same word, shout JINX! and simply slap the other person. Like, how gay is that? Who the heck slaps other people for kicks except me?

Either way, neither way, both ways, all ways, dan lain lain lagi... this game is retarded but it can be seriously fun if you are bored and have nothing to do. Once, me, Happyman, Budak Giler and Muzzle said the same word, i think it was "OI" just to see if we could try to jinx each other. And the ever image-concious Stitalicious, didnt join us and merely looked at us with that I-Know-You-But-I-Dont-Want-To-Know-You-Cos-You-Are-Retarded kind of look. Indeed, i dont blame him. For i say we are retarded but proud of it.

Yes and to less trivial issues. We won Saints! in the Semis! Like Whoa! Like Dough! Like Go!
6-nil sia! I mean it doesnt get any closer than that. Thougg i would have liked to play. Still, we will meet ACS(I, not You, but I) in the finals and we get to skip MAths CCT! The hardest shiit in the World! Just For Girls! In a Twirl! So, soya bean milk nice to drink if you are thirsty. So, do work out asses off for this. It was nice to see some support for the team, but please. For God's sake. Bloody dont boo at our own team lah! Like Munjens are dumb. Im sure u boo our team; thats like climbing mount everest and jumping down naked, hoping to survive. Please. Use your brains.

Ah. I believe that is all the mater of importance. Do remember to thank Happyman for this post as he was the one who inspired me.

Capsicum Melioris Ivy
The hope for a younger wife.

Fing.

PS: i never remember my colour for my posts. Could someone kindly remind me?

Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:36 PM

Friday, April 4, 2008

in response to fing.

OK!

this whole post is dedicated to my response to fing's post and my review of how retarded YET GREAT EFFING FRIENDS i have.

but seriously, the card was enuf. the gym ball, the water bottle, the singlet?? the alarm clock, the number 15 jersey frm nicpat, the bobble head(???) and the birthday song using the peraduan's food utensils as musical instruments is... simply put.... it shows how good friends all of you can be.

i would just LOVE to comment on FING and CO's gift to me. (the alarm clock and the BOBBLE head). firstly, the alarmclock, ok lah its damn useful cause i always needed one. but srsly, the bobble head? fing says its just a present to remind me how retarded we are. haha. ok and to make things worst, they wrapped these two things up in the shape of a car and drew a wonderfully drawn outline of a car. i swear the wrapping had SIX layers of duct tape, and news papers.. hahaha. thanks fing and co. for wastig one hour wrapping it.

ok. the other group of pple namely the ever retarded stitalicious, the even retardeder finch, dol and our new sec 1 friend (the gymnast) had a more elaborate plan. they gave me toilet paper and half filled deodarant only to make me realise that my real gift was right in front of my eyes.

okok the reason im telling you guys this is nt bcos i wna brag abt the number of gifts i got but i wanted to make it clear to you guys that we have come to develop such a strong friendship and i suggest that we shouldnt break it, even in RJ........

so fing ing ng g, im not sad actually. my bones broken so yeah maybe thats the only sad part of me.

enuf emoing. times awasting. fings right, we really should be wrecking havoc in our dear ol school. its so uncharacteristic of us to remain soo... quiet wuiet.

oh shit i have this really dirty little secret abt what happened during peraduan today...... it involves finch and drinks... tsk tsk tsk naughty naughty. bbut i wont spurt the secret out cause ORA is coming. hmmmm whats the date again? 12th? thats when we strip sec 1 gymnast since he claims he'd rather get stripped on that day. and wait, am i missing anyone who will get dingolpheed too? hmm.. we'll wait and see.

ive already lost my dingolphee virginity to nicpat cause he attacked me while i was sleeping. ): speaking of which, i would like to talk abt the "illegal" sleepover that a grp of us had in sch not too long ago. imagine, walking around the school actually LOOKING for unnatural stuff at midnight while trying to escape frm security guards. those were the thrills that we experienced. for those of you who dont know, we are people who seek thrill like thrill seekers. trouble is our middle names after bin. so its like fing bin trouble muzzle. yeah..

enough abt us, what about YOU? what have YOU done thats crazy and stupid yet fun and stupid. nothing so far. so get off your asses and continue to do what we live for.. no NOT wanking. the other thing that we live for which is doing stupid funny stuff for the thrill of it.


cheers to all of us for being so closely knit, especially nicpat and nickglim who arent even malay.
muzzle

Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:21 PM

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hmmm......

Hello to all once again! Its me, Fing. First, i would like to say sorry cos i havent been posting cos i was busy doing lastminute preparations for slacking. No lah. I have been studying. So i can continue my usual First-Term-Ownage, which is a term used to describe a certain phenomena where i do very well in all my tests in the first term and then fizzle out in the rest of the year due to the holidays.

Yes, it seems odd, but the holidays are to blame for my slump. Lump. Ump. Mp. P. Echo sia sia sia sia..... okay time to go out to a non enclosed area for i have been in my head, an empty mass of space filled with stuff like my brain, blood, cerebral stuff i learnt in bio and all. Now wait. There is something wrong with what i just said. Think. Cmon now. Think. I know its hard for retards like Shift, but just think. Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.

Ah forget it. I will tell you. I just said i have an empty head. Well, how can it be empty when theres a brain in it? haha. Bet u all didnt see that coming. And i bet avinash is gay. Yup. im digressing but what are digressions for if not to waste time and confuse people? Anyway, The holidays. Yes. In week 9 and 10 of every term, i would be in full steam doing all my homework and stuff ON TIME. Then the holidays come and i turn off my switch. And the slump lump ump mp p begins. WOULD YOU STOP IT? I play games and find out once again how nice it is to not work and just relax. So, naturally, i wouldnt want to slip into high gear after feeling the niceness of relaxing. Hope that clears up my slump lump ump mp p thing. FUCK YOU STOP IT!

Ah on to new things. Recently, or rather, Today-ly, our beloved member scored his 16th goal of his life. No lah. He celebrated his 16th birthday. YOu all stoopid or what? Anyway, Happy Birthday to MUZZLE uzzle zzle zle le e! Yep. Though its quite sad. All he got today from all his collection of good friends is a card with all our names on it. Kesian. Nvm. He probably didnt knw that the card was a decoy. Whoops. And he probably didnt know that we would be giving him stuff tomorrow. Whoops again.
So muzzle, if you are reading this, please dont be sad.
Be mad.
Wear a hat.
Pat a cat.
Kill a rat.
Dont get wet.
Fly in a jet.

And i can go on forever. Trust me. Ask Sunami. We played rhymer whymer and i pwned him like 1 million to one. Shit lah. This is all Finch's fault. He started this rhyming thing. His trademark phrase:
"What the hell, What the bell, What the smell, What the fell"
Is simple yet so stupid that i like it.

and to make it worse, munjens like it. Which isnt a good sign. Like good 'ol Biq. He get amused by lame stuff. So i think he and Forge should get along very well. But i though i love the ingenious phrase, it still irritates me when i hear it at nite before i sellp, in my head. No thanks to Forge. So thanks, but FUCK YOU OU U!

Ah. i kind of like the echo stuff.

On to trivial news. Man u beat roma 2-0 in italy.

See? simple does it.

Eh anyone iterested in the YOG? its cool. Too bad theres no rugby. but theres hockey, so at least patnic patch and finch and dertile and all can have a go. But why though. Why is there no rugby? its unfair. Hey, i just realised. There is no yoga in YOG. i guess the a in yoga can be converted to CAPS for the rest of the letters. Ah. there i go again. Thanks Forge.

Now i have run out of stuff to talk about. see lah. thats what happens when u got no brain. Ask Shift. Shift? oh Shift? ah. i guess apart from brain, he got no ears. haha.

Oh ya. In a serious note, seriously, as in serious lah. Can u dont laugh? i'm trying to say something important here. It could affect the blog or worse. Ur dicks. Im serious. I will cicumsise u all again if something bad happens cos u all nv listen to me. Except patnic. I will just dingolfee him. Ok here it is. I want to appeal to all you nutheads, aka mats, sec 1 to sec 4, to reignite the flame Fuckle brought upon us. I mean, where have all the stupid stuff we used to do gone to? Cmon man. or men. Do stupid stuff. Wreck havoc. Break records or bones. anything! speaking of which reminds me of Muzzles hand. Its broekn. But hey, lets not make it worse by talking about it. Ad seniors, i expect better. We should be setting benchmarks for the juniors to follow. Esp. Shift. Retardedness alone isnt enuf.

Well, thats all for this time. Till next time, keep track of time ime me e. HAIZ, FORGE.

With love like a dove from above burns on a stove,
Fing ing ng g.

Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:52 PM