Tuesday, August 28, 2007
ALRRRIIGGHTT today has been a very fruitful day, hidup kayu berbuah, hidup manusia juga berbuah HA HA!anewayyzz wad a greeatt day it has been from the malay prelim to the malay prelim to the jimming to the underwear to the underwear to the underwear to the mugging oh yeah i loved the mugging haha..
k first and fore(skin)most, i wld like to express greatest displeasures towards my malay prelim,, even though i screwed it up bagai langau di ekor gajah( aper seyy dier buat kat ekor gajah???anal ehhh haha ANALISA!) i dun give a hampas!. firstly paper I: the surat was a fuck man so i tot i cld make it up wif the karangan perbincangan. BUT OH HO HO HO, i certainly screwed it up even worse writing 4-3+5 divided by 10 to the power of zero point 5 bla bla bla = x where x is a constantly varying multiple of 0.25. so, to hell with it. BUT the best part of writing the karangan was when i saw a monster walking around the hall, a veri veri hedious one indeed an utterly disgustingly atrociously GGXXly disfigured form of punowho. the sight of her inspired me to write the narrative which's topic is ," pengorbanan sth sth sth kerana wad fuck oso i dunno la". but i tot of writing abt how i berkorban demi menghabiskan karangan tersebut even with the disheavenly sight of punowho. bola keRAAAAnjang.
2ndly the 2nd paper. WOW this was a greeeeeeaaaaatttttt ___?????????????_____ coz it was partly [some text missing]. well but the best part of the paper II was a GREAAT VIEW!tt's all i haf to say full stop (.)(.)*
then i wanked to the gym. LOL i like this part. i was gg up alone ah. THEN SUDDENLY I SAW AN ORGASM! no seriously the longkang was like bubbling up and down up and down left and right and water was spouting and spurting all over the places. SO i decided to call fuckle and mavado but just as i took out the phone out of my mouth they were climbing up and they joined in the fun. longkang adalah seks!
however all the rockers that we made aroused some idiot from the audito. he was so aroused tt he decided to join in and form a threesome. do u know wad an echo is? he asked. bla bla bla bla becoz u are shouting IN AN ECHOEY PLACEE!!! is it fuckle? aiya i carn remember la. but less than a minute spent staring at mavado's sexxayyee face was enuff to climaxed him and give him and orgasmic orgasm. LOL!nice!
aiya malas ah nak talk abt the "studying with fuckers" experience. chiaoz
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:18 PM
Monday, August 27, 2007
i knew it. i'm gonna tell you what i shld have told you a long time agoi'm feeling it again. this weird feeling. I feel like i want to explode. There's a monster within me. FUCK you monster
i hate you
seriously why do you exist
fuck off. stop making me
jgnnnn!
i'm a retard. why? you may ask. i dunno. siapa tanya. bapak kau punyer laki
i'm basically made up of three different things. A monster, a 5 year old kid who refuses to grow up and me. i just realized tt.
anyway, i had the scariest dream yest afternoon. After i returned home from my madrasah, i lied on my bed. i was gonna sleep. But i haven't prayed zohor. I told myself that i will surely wake up before asar coz i felt like pissing and i knew my piss would wake me up. BUT, i was wrong! i woke up and i was horrified to see the time on my phone: 4.52. i said two words,
then i had this afternoon nightmare. i shall get to the climax of the nightmare. i went into my father's car. i wanted to drive it for 10 metres or so. so i stepped on the thing la the wtv thing. then i stepped on the brake but i cldn't stop i went faster. i went so fast that i flew of the carpark to the main road i turned around and followed the flow and i crashed into 2 cars. I went faster and faster then i swerved and flew and crashed into the side netting and GOOOAALL!!!! nola a bit of a digress there. I went faster and faster and suddenly swerved and crashed into a railing and flew off into the sea. I died.
then i was alive again. i forgot i died. i read newspaper and i saw a newsreport saying a car crashed into a railing and fell into the sea. I knew it was my dad's car. i thought my father died. so i was super sad. i went to pray asar. then later on i dunno how but i realised that i was the one in the car and tt i'm actualli dead. so i went to pray and taubat and all and damn sad la cry cry emo clown. Then i woke up.
then i was horrified to see the time on my phone: 6.05. "OMG" i said. i then went to the toilet and abluted and went to pray asar, for real.
wth am i doing here. why am i blogging. I'm supposed to be studying for malay prelim. I look at the time on my com screen. I am horrified.
I am kulubi. I am a retard. I will study for my malay. I will be fully prepared.
dengan tulus ikhlas bagai kerbau yang dipegang hidungnya.
KU LUBI
Posted by Mat Raffles at 4:58 PM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
CiS: The New Crack
*warning! overloading of this webpage might occur due to the amt of picts i put here*HELLOOOOO ALLLLL!!!
Patch! here to bring to your attention on a certain product made by one of my batch-mats and tested by other Sec 3 mats when we were sewel. (proper AND codenames will not be revealed here as that information is clearly classified)
i bring to you : *JENG ! JENG ! JENG!*
CiS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As u can see, this CiS is made up of household foodstuff u can kop at home (or school if your mother dun let u kop) The reason y i call this CiS will be explained later
STEPS IN MAKING THIS DELICACY
*warning! overloading of this webpage might occur due to the amt of picts i put below*
Step 1 : open the sugar packet *Note: sugar packet and creamer muz be like the pict above. dun care if the colour diff juz same size.
Step 2: Open the packet of Creamer.
Step 3: Pour the WHOLE content of the creamer into the sugar packet. *Note: Sugar packet muz be open using the least amount of wasted packet ( meaning tear across the top)
END PRODUCT
A sugary taste like no other (Sunami said it tasted like those cookie wif Digimon typed coloured shit on top of a small biscuit)
Step 4: Consume the delicacy in anyway you like (up ur nose or uranus or do like wat normal people does : using their mouth.)
RESULTS
Words spelling pure ecstasy in different language written all over your face!
*WARNING!*SIDE-EFFECTS*
You will start to get sugar rush pretty soon
And in the end, you will end up like this.
Higher you climb the harder your fall eh?
For those who cant visualize the Sewel Sugar Rush or SSR, this is a video on the testing of the new product.
Sewel-licious will be proud :D
Be sure to stock ur resources up ya? Coz once is never enuf!
So, The official Unveiling of Creamer-in-Sugar is done (CiS). The name CiS was chosen coz it was the oni thing i can think up of.
SiC u say? but u noticed tt we put the CREAMER in the SUGAR so there fore, it suppoz to be CiS coz its CREAMER-IN-SUGAR!
Wif That,
This is
Goodbye
Patch!
P.S. hope the vid works!
Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:19 AM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Inspiration!
Yo! Patch here.The Last Death Week is approaching. Good luck to all of ya! especially Shift who is doing a non-existing CCT presumably called : ' History'...
So for us normal, realistic, Geog students, We oni haf 2. if lliddat we not tt dead arrrrrr ( not like shift). but still got maths and physics.......... satu dah mcm kena cekek. dua dah terus mati.... (What about 3, Shift? :D ) Alar nvm dead onot still can be revived. Juz Renervate em or use resurrection stone.
Selain itu, ku ter jumpa beberapa videos. A parody of Khairi Potter.
Harry Potter and Lord Waldemart.
Walmartwatch.com
Haha. inspirational aye???? Maybe we should make our own vids. Haha.
Again, Gd luck to all for CCTS and all Sec 3 Combattents for their upcoming Surat Rasmi test Tmr. ( Which Pu-Know-WHO had conviniently tell us that she gaf us more time to do)
Yang Sebenar-benarnya,
Patch
Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:07 PM
United we SEWEL
Hehe. Hope this turns out pink.Hello clowns. Im back again for another uselessly useless post so watch out. Or if u like, u can watch in. Today, we shall be dis-cussing about Man Utd's evitable loss to local rivals Shity. As the statistics (damn lies) show, Man Utd had possesion for most of the game and had way more shots on target than there are stars in a clear night. So, how come Shity won? Well, I have a few ideas.
a) Shity were lucky as their second shot of the game got in due to a jumping Vidic (just like sewel when he tries to save a shot. Away from the ball.)
b) Geovanni used steroids and thus, his shot was unclearly uncleared by the unclearing Van The Sar.
c) Well, we just couldnt score as Kasper the Friendly Ghost, however transparent he was, did make some saves, unlike Sewel.
Ah the solutions? Well, as any United Fan, i would want Thaksin to be arrested so that Shitty will be in huge depts and be like a Leeds Utd. As i read in the papers, Shity's transfers were not paid for and were merely bought using credit. Wah then Ericsson kena fire then Shift would be the saddest guy on Earth. I will make all Shity fans Red with jealousy. Yes. RED. Not blue with jealousy, not red with sadness. Bwahahaha!
However, as any sane person knows, that might not happen and United will finish second this season with Shity being in 8th. Y 8th? dunno. it doesnt seem to hard yet not easy for Shity to achieve, those chronic over-achievers. So my message to all Shity fans, You all will win first! in coca cola championship. hmmmm.
Hope that happens. But Alwaysthemore, we united fans will continue to do our best, wat'er the test, to keep our colours flaaing. let comradship and fervent hope, with one voice make us pray, auspicium melioris aevi, with god to guide the way.
Yours Redly,
Fing
PS: All personal attacks on sewel are purely unitentional. If any hard fellings are being felt by sewel, do come down to the seminar room 7 for me to give u a proper atomic wedgie.
PPS: the atomic wedgie hasnt killed, yet...
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:39 PM
Monday, August 20, 2007
liverpool 1:1 chelsea, eh salah chelsea 1 : 1 liverpoolyeah tt's rite...laugh all u want mourinho the kanneeeforkbaaanggkai... lucky blues. i wld like to express my greatest condoms to man u who lost the match to man city. may alex haf mercy on van der sars, patrice evra kedevra, paul scolds, ryan geeks, punowho and all those who haf contributed in one way or another. but tt's all i dun relli give a sperm.
seriously, on to more serious matters other than BPL, liverpoolians draw/tie/lukis/tali leher/ikat/1-1 with the lucky chelseans. At this point of time, i do not want to put the blame on anyone but FUCK YOU R STYLE u deserve to rot in the dustbin for giving a penalty against liverpool. kalau malouda(sounds a lot like meludah HEEHEE!) relli got tripped by me or wad takper la but i can swear to all of u that all i did was stop and malouda just flew all over me. but tt's okae, i dun fault u malouda coz u ma frennnn. the onli one to blame is R STYLE also know as Referee style. style kepala hotak botak kau.
mak kau potek ke haper ah style. Dintch u see the playback on the screen LIVE ON CHANNEL 27. beraper banyak kali sak. basket. well at least now i know ur deepest darkest secret as dark as half the players of chelsea. u think i din't see the dark mark among the bushes at ur armpit as u were showing the yellow card to me. HOw could i miss it. it was the sign of the pig headed bull frog. yes tt's right. The symbol of big fat ugly lips and pantat terjojol. the symbol of loyalty towards PUNOWHOOOO. damn u style. this is war...
WAR ON TERROR!!! may the force be wifff uuuuuuuu!!!!
urs Teruli
Jay mee Kherei Ger.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 1:10 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The stupid things sec 4s do
Hello mats,I come to post regretfully at the end of a lon and eventful week. Firstly, I can no longer be called the Postman, due to an objection by one of the blog's hallowed co-founders. So, for now we shall refer to me as
Most of this stupid week has been covered by the other posters so will skip that. However, a very unfortunate and saddening thing occurred on the "penghulu segala hari", hari jumaat. Most of our sec 3 mats, along with a rather dumb sec 4, missed their Friday prayers. I shouldn't talk about this much but I would like to remind every one that we should not waste time before Friday prayers as it is a compulsory compulsoty compulsory thing and we have no excuse to miss it
Anyway moving on, I was told by a form teacher (a teacher that forms lessons, if you don't know) to hand in my testimonial. What is a testimonial, you may ask. Well, a testimonial is a piece of paper or word document shamelessly exaggerating all the rubbish you have done in RI. Here are some excerpts from some testimonial samples i bought on the black market:
"He is effectively bilingual and is able to communicate, write and read fluently in English." Lol, who isn't?!
"While heavily committed to his academic and co-curricular pursuits, BBB (name is withheld because you all with laugh at him too much) is still able to find time to provide community service to the needy." Well what are those services? "One such project is the RI-MINDS Carnival in 2003, where he got to buddy intellectually disabled children. He was also involved in the newspaper collection to raise funds for MINDS in 2004. In 2005, he visited the Malaysian Orphanage during the Secondary 3 Gifted Education Malaysian trip."
Well, well, well, very impressive if you don't consider that more than a hundred other students did that too, and also that BBB never chose to join those events since they are compulsory for everyone in the first place.
"AAA also took part in Community Involvement activities which served to help the under-privileged in the community. He would conscientiously volunteer his help in at least one major project each year." again, who doesn't?
"He never missed any training in all the four years at RI." Wahh, superman!
Well, AAHCHOO! Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. So in order to save you all from more rubbish by the creative and shameless self-promotion shit of past sec 4s, I shall stop here.
Signing off,
Posted by Mat Raffles at 4:11 PM
The Death of Death Week Eight.
Hello there,the angel from my nightmare.
BUT NO MORE NIGHTMARES!!!
DEATH WEEK 8 IS OVER!!!
MUMMMMYYYY!!! IT'S OVEERRRRR!!!
YIIPPPEEEDOOODDDLDOOODOOOTHATTHINGYOUDO!!!
YAHOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Wanna know how happy I am?
Like that man! HAHAHAHA! (For you dumbdols, that's Tiger Woods, the world's number 1 golfer and also, one of my students in my bapakkausutra class.)
Okay, I shall give an overview of how I and the Combattenti Di Libertà pulled through this one helluva week.
I'll start off with the TESTicleS. I shall not however, put up any questions for that will be cheating and hence, I'll be thrown into Azkaban. But just the other day, Sirius and some Death Eaters (yes, Sirius, we all know you were a mislabelled Death Eater but look what happened to Pu-No-Who. we all thought she was a mislabelled fish but it turned out to be true didn't it, you asswipe.) who managed to breakout from Azkaban were at my house teaching me how to escape in case I got caught. I can't use Sirius' method of turning into a dog. That'll be like fucking haram. Rabastan recommended me to transfigure myself into a Dementor. Bloody brilliant huh? His brother, Rodolphus, ain't so smart. Bloody bastard advised me to use Alohomora. Like HELLO! It's Azkaban! Not Alcatraz! His wife, Bellatrix, the bloody bitch who killed Sirius and later was killed my another of my bitch, Molly, told me how she escaped in the most simplistic manner. She just gave the Dementor a blowjob. I didn't know they had penises though. This'll be great news for Hermione. She likes these kinda kinky stuff like in this video. No, dont worry, it's not porno. Who do you think I am? Ronald Weasely. Bloody perv!
Okay, okay let's go on to the tests. The first test of the week was on Monday. It was as my friend calls it, Biol-ogy. The test was the easiest of the three in the Death Week. It was probably less hard because I studied most for it and because I studied the most for it, I did not study for Mathematics and Chemistry and so I shall move on to that later. And so Biol-ogy is my only hope of passing a test in the Death Week. There were so many questions pertaining to economic botany. Luckily I paid attention to Madam Sprout in Herbology unlike Mavado who was using one of Fred and George's Patented Daydream Charms to dream of Minerva. Bloody dick drooled all over my Devil's Snare.
The second test on Wetnessday, was Mathematics. Now THIS was the hardest test of the week. I got like pwnzz, ggxx and f2l all the way man. Might as well AltQQ and save meself from the uber hard testes. This is a sure fail as I think I never answered enough questions to pass. Reason being, I did't know what the questions were about. Reason being I barely studied for it. Reason being I spent too much time studying Bio. So yeah, moral of the story is oral.
The last test on Thursday was Chemistry. Chemistry is dumb lah. Everyone knows Chem is dumb because you can take the easier route by going to Severus' classes although he is a bitch. However, he still saved Dumbledore you know? AHAH! Bet you couldn't do that you ruddy Muggle. Okay, this Chem test I not so sure pass or fail. Can go either ways. So we'll see the verdict when the tests are returned. I think fail ah but hopefully, pass like a passport.
Oh yeah, there were a few questions in the tests which I answered with retarded answers. I'll upload these once I get the papers back. Examples of such stupid answers are as follows.
The Death Week 8 was also home to a lot of assignments like SS Documentary, Maths Performance task and RE Oral Presentation. So, we overcame that slowly too but we still owe She Who Must Not Be Named hell lot of stuff. We also calmed ourselved downs during the week with our own version of Pictionary and Blues Clues. HAHAHAHA! Oh yeah, the hockey boys were knocked out of the second group stage. Dol sia but good try! And the ruggers got third! HAHAHAH!
Sememek sial budak ni! Sememek takper. SEMEMEK JOHNSON!
Now that everything is over I can finish my books.
These books by Anthony Horowitz are bloody brilliant though they are intended for a younger audience. I still love The Power of Five. HIGH FIVE! IT'S NICE!
Alright then here are some super hot videos. ENJOY!
OOHHH! Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Snape!
And so as the week draws to a close, we are very proud to have survived with GREAT SUCESS!!!, although, some with injuries like Nasriminator. By golly, he had a stitch from clashing head on with his own rugby captain during training. I mean like, how dumb can you get lah. Ingat dah macam Terminator, dah indestructible ah. NOT!
So, mats, from me to you, sincerely, we have triumphed so remarkably. Although, there are more weeks like this to come, let us not forget that we are hard to bring down. We will not be run over by some stupid tests, assignments or teachers who are so fill of themselves. We will rise up to the challenge like all great men before us have done. Spider-Man, Superman, Batman and hell, even Spongebob Squarepants! We will fight! With all our might! See the horizon there. Immortality! Take it! IT'S YOURS!
Sweet, sweet victory mates.
With Pride,
Fuckle.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 3:43 PM
anybody want tic tac?
very a lot of many things happend thats so damnd worth putting here. i noe it was long ago, but i went to see national day fireworks from somewher near esplanade, and it was very nice!
and well, i got some pics when on our recce, but i dunno whether to put here or nt.
anyone want a tic tac (its a sweet u dumbass)? sitting in maths nth to do (cos stittalicious was hogging the cube) except listen, wich i didnt want to. i made some oval shapes out of plasticine, and a brainwave came crashing to me. i tried offering it to ppl arnd me as tic tac, but no one was too much of a doombarse to fall for it, except KaKa the Klown. i said, u want tic tac? he said ok, then took it and put it into his mouth. well, me stittalicious and finch tried our best to tell him to spit it out while laughing our butts out, wich is quite hard. finally he had enuf sense to do it himself, and we told him it was plasticine.
finch took this pic of our imitation tic tac syndicate.
and we got back our maths ta, and i passed 8.5/15, wawaweewa! like the whole class faild and i tink abt 3 or 4 passed. finally someth to show my father and stop him calling me stupid or watever.
someth we did during a free period. stylo milo (mylo not meelo)!
wattaheck.
Forge
Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:03 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A totally useless post.
It's not over,We survived this time around
It's not over
More death weeks to come!!
Anyway for my third post every I will not be posting anything of remote use or relevance to life in any aspect at all.
*cue shock, horror and surprise*
As pu-no-who says, takde manfaat langsung so yeah. Go take that dmp peeps. Be like me, take both. w000t!
So I'll start off with a simple riddle. There was this bus. Like every other bus, it was driving along the road peacefully. Suddenly, there was a traffic light which turned red. But the bus didn't stop and continued driving. Then, three chickens ran across the road because they wanted to get to the other side. But the driver didn't stop and the chickens became KFC (Kentucky Flat Chicken!). Then, all of a sudden, the bus stopped. Why?
Because it reached a BUS STOP! bwahahahahaaa!
Moving on, a riddle with a thousand word answer. What do you do if you are driving in some ulu desert without any civilisation at all and suddenly your car runs out of gas and stops?
Answer: I don't know, but certainly not this!
Okay fine, that was 1007 words but I know you'll forgive me.
And lastly, for all those CCC guys, a quick guide to Chinese. Read out everything as you see it and I assure you you will be a pro.
Clicky here!
Well, that's all from me today. If my post seems more mature than usual, well, I guess it comes with growing older.
Yours with 3 fking CCTs in week 10,
Shift.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:01 PM
Celebrate good times, C'mon!!
Fing-er here.Hello ppl!! how the week been? as it is, i already see sewel-licios' head terkoyak pasal think too much...dun worry sewel...next time, just dont exert yourself trying to count to 5...
Joking lah! relax ah sewel. nobody's dat dumb.....ok maybe got.... but still?? Anyway, the scar is a proof of your bravery (or foolishness???) when colliding head on wif the rugby captain. u are the boy who lived...and you have the powers She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named does not know of...neither can live while the other survives... so, naturally i hope u will survive, however slim the chances.
on to more power issues. for most of us (kalau tak salah), today is the last cct for a week! so ppl this is when we have time to do what we want before week 10 looms over. here i have a list of what we can do and i think im going to do some of them myself.
1) play soccer during thursdayand tuesday (ok ah, and for muzzle and i, gym, though ive been neglecting it.)
2) stay back at sem room 7 or 6 to do stupid but fun stuff. like hide-and-seek or strip-the-avinash.
3) rebel against the Others (teachers lah.)
4) be clownish in class (like just now at malay class when Pu-No-Who noticed sambal marks on my pants...at the dick area...)
5) uh....get ur head patched up??? for sewel only
ok dah. those that i list are consperm the ones that i will do. for the rest of you clowns, you are free to do whatever stupid, dangerous and fun things you want to do. just rmb, when the going gets tough, get going! ok? ok. as for fuckle and mavado, esp. mavado, i notice they both seem somewhat a little subdued. probably due to the ccts. so, all we can do to help is keep casting "renevate" and give them pumpkin juice so they can resume being our top clowns.
thats probably all for now. do rmb to stay tuned for the next episode of ONE MINUTE OF FAME!!!
yours fingeringly,
Fing (fing-er)
p.s. posting on clownish blogs like this one is fun. yeap, fun. funfunfunfunfunfunfun. FUN.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:12 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
destressing time
okay guys, i know that it is a tough week ahead. and this is only the start. but i have a destressing song for you people.this song is sent to me by NICHOLAS ANDREW JONATHAN KIRAMATHYPATHY and i spelt it right!
he asked me to send the hardest song (metal) that i have cause he hates metal. then he sent me this destressing song.. for all you guys out there
hope that it destressed you abit
yours un-truly,
muzzle
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:50 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
Karangan Peribahasa
HELO HELO HELLLOOOOOO!Patch here to bring a karangan peribahasa courtesy of the Clown of all CLOWNS:
FING!
"Gajah Sama Gajah berjuang, Pelanduk mati di tengah-tengah"
Sebuah kumpulan pelajar, Muzzle, Stittalicious, Sunami dan Fing, mula-mula bangga kerana dapat mengambil kombinasi subjek yang mengandungi kedua-dua subjek kegemaran mereka, Sains dan Bahasa Melayu. Tidak hairanlah jika mereka begitu ghairah untuk menghadiri kelas-kelas tersebut. Lantas, setengah tahun pertama berlalu dengan keempat-empat sahabat itu semakin jemu dengan subjek Bahasa Melayu. Akhirnya, pada suatu hari, kesabaran mereka hampir mencapai tahap di mana mereka tidak akan dapat mengawal diri mereka.
Guru Bahasa Melayu mereka, Pu-Know-Who, menyuruh merekan melakukan latihan kefahaman apabila terdapat peperiksaan Sains pada keesokan harinya. Kerana ter lalu sibuk belajar untuk peperiksaan itu, mereka tidak sempat melakukan latihan kefahaman itu. Lantas apabila mereka menjelaskan bahawa mereka sedang belajar untuk peperiksaan tersebut, Pu-Know-Who memberontak, “Oooh. Adakah Sains lebih penting dari Bahasa Melayu? Mana kamu semua letak keutamaan kamu?” Mereka semua berdiam saja. Pu-Know-Who pun meminta nama cikgu Sains mereka, Encik Ban. “Saya akan jumpa Encik Ban,” katanya sebelum berjumpa dengan Cikgu Ban.
Entah apa yang berlaku, tetapi tiba-tiba saja semua latihan Bahasa Melayu diadakan pada hari yang sama seperti peperiksaan Sains, mahupun peperiksaan lain sperti matematiks. Kian hari, keempat-empat sahabat itu pun semakin penat dan menghadapi tekanan yang amat serius, tetapi semua itu tidak pun dihiraukan oleh Pu-Know-Who. Namun ,sebagai insan yang berhati perut, mereka hanya bersetuju. Namun ,akhirnya, Muzzle, Stittalicious, Sunami dan Fing terlupa menghantar tugasan Melayu yang diberi. Pu-Know-Who pun memarahi mereka dan menyuruh mereka melakukan bina ayat sepuluh kali dan refleksi diri pada keesokan hari. Dan sekali lagi, Pu-Know-Who telah menghiraukan keadaan kami yang terpaksa menduduki peperiksaan Matematik, Sains dan Sejarah pada keesokan hari. Cikgu Ban pun sama. Dia sengaja mengadakan peperiksaan pada hari yang mereka menduduki peperiksaan Melayu. Ternyata, terdapat sesuatu perselisihan di antara kedua-dua guru tersebut. Dan tanpa disedari, murid-murid mereka berdua telah merana dalam senyap kerana takut akan kuasa guru mereka yang hebat.
Pada suatu hari, Sunami dilanda penyakit dilanda penyakit demam kerana menghadapi tekanan dari guru. Muzzle, Stittalicious, dan Fing juga tidak secergas dahulu. Cikgu Ban pun menyedari tentang kesilapannya lantas meminta maaf kepada murid-muridnya serta Pu-Know-Who. Namun, Pu-Know-Who memnita maaf, tetapi dengan cara sarkastik. Kami pun mengeluh dalam hati, kerana apa yang terjadi bagaikan gajah sama gajah berjuang, pelanduk mati di tengah-tengah. Tidak apa-apa yang dapat dilakukan oleh kami, pelanduk yang tidak bermaya jika dibanding kan dengan gajah yang bermaharajalela kerana kekuatannya.
Courtesy of Fing! and he is siriusly gonna hand in this karangan
*except wif proper faked names
With that,
Chao!
Patch.
P.S. Hope no one chose this colour yet.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:19 PM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The Week Of Death Is Officially Upon Us.
No time for pleasantries, greetings or wishes of vegetables upon you. The week of death hath arrived. Crazily Crappy Testicles (CCTs for the faint-hearted), ASSignments, and ASSays (you can tell I'm tired, I can't think of another adjective) have descended and it is up to us to face and (hopefully) defeat them. May the Farts be with you. They help to clear the air.Today, I received a call from a person who shall be referred to as "He who will not be named" from a "CCA that will not be named" asking for a particular form thingy that was "optional" but yet, he had to call me up so I could do it anyway. So I was damn pissed with him and was also damn tired from attempts at mugging. And I spent an hour doing that form. I'm so proud of it that I decided to share it with you.
Question 1: Describe yourself.
For me, I know myself as a very calm and unhurried person who is always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Under pressure, however, I feel that I am able to put my foot down and tell people what I feel.
Coming from my experiences as a leader in various fields, I can safely say that this ability to switch between relaxed and serious has helped greatly in bringing success.
Knowing this, I still do realize that I have weaknesses such as keeping my team mates motivated and not bringing them down too harshly.
Ultimately, I would describe myself as a person whose main motivation behind activities is to enjoy them, which would explain why I excel at things that I love.
Question 2: Why the fcuk would you even bother to apply for the indicated positions?
Sincerely, I feel that I can do my best in the positions that I have indicated.
In my 3 years as a member of *unnamed CCA*, I have felt that events and trainings lack an element of fun.
As a member of the Special Events Dept, I would be able to change this to incorporate that missing element and as a result, bond the unit tighter.
Perceptions held by members of the unit would change as a result.
A happy unit would of course bring great success for all involved.
To make this happen, I would love to be part of the change.
Another position that I feel I can contribute is as a treasurer.
No doubt, this position is one of utmost importance and I feel I am responsible enough to take it upon myself. In a position where I can contribute in the decisions, I would ensure that 2008 will be a fantastic
year for
all.
Damn da vinci code, now that I think of it. I love myself. To end off, here's a slogan that maybe Siapa Tanya could adopt. NOT!
Yours lovingly,
Shift.
PS: Mighty City are SVEN-sational!!!
Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:54 PM
Death Week 8
sdjgsfhighdfoph.That's 'hello' in retard language. Why am I greeting you in retard language? BECAUSE I'M BECOMING FCUKING RETARDED! Check out this video if you don't believe me.
Why am I acting in this manner some of you might ask? BECAUSE DEATH WEEK 8 IS NEXT WEEK! Why is it the DEATH week? BECAUSE GOT BIO CCT, MATHS CCT, CHEM CCT, SS DOCUMENTARY, RE ORAL PRESENTATION, ENGLISH ORAL DEFENSE AND FCUKING HELL LOT OF OTHER SHIT!
Now I shall tell you how I am slowly being transformed into a retard.
Eh monyet! Dahlah! Jangan senyum-senyum! Aku dah mendak sial tengok muka kau! This is my fcuked up Biology textbook and it's getting bloody irritating for I have been reading it since Wetnessday. Tomorrow's the test and I'm bloody screwed. The topics are Sustainability, Botanic Economy (or is it Economic Botany? dunno what shit ah.) and Life Sciences. Like fcuk all that shit! I'm gonna be a wizard when I grow up. For sustainability I can use a Sustaining Charm. For the botanical shit I can just learn Herbology. And for life sciences, hell, what's the use of stem cells to help repair damaged tissue when I've got Skele-Grow! So the test tomorrow is basically the same case aso to how the 'C' Div ruggers will be facing ACTION=AKSI=ACSI. For you dumbfucks, it's a lost cause and well let's just go there and die. FCUK PICKERING (bloody twit of a MUGGLE)!
This is my bloody Chemistry textbook. It's stupid really. I'm the Matblood Prince man! Come on! I can make any potion just like that! It's insulting really this textbook. I think even Severus the bitch would find it a bore. But since the Chem teacher always says, "4K! Wah, my heart very pain already. You always make my heart pain.", I shall be a good boy and make her a Love Potion and get her to sex TORRES the TAURUS!
Finally, we arrive to the last and most fearsome manuscripts. These two texts alone are enough to send shivers up my already shrivelled ANUS! Come on, even Hermione the chiobu a.k.a the jambu a.k.a the berbulu has difficulty with Arithmancy. What more us? If only I could transfigure my Maths teacher into a calculator. Minerva won't help me. Apparently, she wasn't satisfied with my performance in bed. NOOO!!!!!!!!!
You might wanna calm yourselves down and release all the stress by watching this fcuking funny videos.
So as Death Week 8 looms, we shall ready ourselves as much as we can. MATS! This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE! AHHOU! AHHOU! AHHOU!
With Much Love To All of You. It Has Been Nice Knowing All of You, But This Is Where It Ends and We Shall See One Another Once Again My Friends! I Love All of You!
Fuckle for one last muthafucking time!
AHHOU!
Posted by Mat Raffles at 3:03 PM
so tomorrow is the start.... of something new, it feels so right to be here with you. okay no seriously tomorrow is the start of death week 8 ):a breakdown of what us mats will face nxt week:
sec 4s - i heard from kulubi that it is a hell lot of shit. but i didnt get to know the details. but "a hell lot of shit" is enough to describe it la.
sec 3s - for MOST of us who take biology, we have 2 ccts, assignments, philo essay, projects to be done
for the sec 2s i will only talk about rugby.
so tomorrow your acsi match? i cant say much la but liike what fing said, just kill as many off as possible so that when they do go finals (if by fluke they win you) then theyll just lose to saints! ah but dont think of losing. cause playing acsi is diff from playing neighbourhood schs. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give them a hard fight.
so even if you lie in your death beds after the game, you know that you tried your best (x
sec 1s? - i also dont know what they have.
i just CUNT wait for DMP.
anyway gentle reminders for those going through week 8:
dont kill yourselves (esp sec 4s) cause then ri will have a hard time trying to cover up the deaths of a few malay students.
with deepest condolences to everyone (even myself)
muzzle
Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:10 AM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
i am going to post for the third time
mavado:eh first of all i'd like to say that fuckle is damn bloody super dee duper EXTRA ah. mod this blog until like WHAT siAk. got so many linksys everywhere, i think we should put in more stuff. like an exercise corner, a forum, a weblog, podcast, you name it. then we can really reach out to all you fellas, and make use of all the space available on the page.
my topic of discussion for today:
if you ever muntah (puke, vomit, throw up, fountain of health, flying food)in the train, please use your kepala HOTAK (brain, soft thing, fictitious organ). that day ah, you know ah, i went out with a coupla friends from many many races (they're all really cool ppl btw), then on our way home, in the train ah, one of my friends ah, (not a mat btw so he doesn't have a nickname, but to protect his privates, no mention of his name should be made) asked me if i smelt fresh baked bread.
then when the train cleared, we saw a big SOFT BREADY splatter of puke on the floor. UH HUH! the source of the supernice smell. and people sitting around it were all expressionless, like it was normal. hey guys, look, puke. oh, ok. MOVING ON. liddat.
then i noticed this one fella who was leaning against the grabrail thing, looking super sick and super pale. he must have puked. PLUS! there was brown sloshy stuff on his shoe. and he stayed there for some time, clinging on to this bag he had in one hand, while this lady, presumably his girlfriend ah, just stoned beside him, talking to him occasionally.
COME ON DEH! sick then get out lah! go see doctor or something. later vomit again how? kan leceh? then got different aromas some more. what if more people puked?
i suggested going up to the puke, sniffing it deeply, then puking all over the place, and maybe on the fella too. then we can ALL puke happily, then somebody can press the red button and tell the driver: got many many vomit! HAAAALP!
so, people, USE YOUR KEPALA HOTAKS. especially some of my close acquaintances: this message of mine i pray you shall reflect upon deeply.
mavado
Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:17 PM
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!i'm sorri. but tt was extremely necessary in order for me, fighter 0034126 aka KULUBI aka themostfuckeduppersonintheworldcozifeelhellalotofshitinmyarseandmynose!!! to teleport to this world of great GOOGLELORD!!! and wiki wiki wiki wiki PEDIAAAAAAA!!!!
lemme tell u something. YES YOU la the one friggin diggin ur anus and smellin ur frigggin nasi ayam which you are gonna put in the oven coz be4 this u put in the fridge so now it's pretty cold. i will nvr forgett..... anyway i don't mean to be rude or anything well actualli i'm a very polite guy but WHAT THE FUCK I FINALLY FINISHED READING HAIRY POTTER!!! omggg!!!! so i'm gonna stop posting abt journey to completion of the Pen awards essay which i totally forgot wad happened so wad the heck and instead write on WHAT MY BRAIN CELL feels abt HAIRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY WEEK! yes next week is week 8 and there will be deaths no doubt abt it.
so WHAT?!?! so what if i'm the last and most lagging person!
so what if i am last to finish hairy POTTER!does it matter to windows LIVE MESSENGER!
so last night after reading the last sentence,"ALL WAS WELL" my brain cell said to me, eh KULUBI fuck u la...i'm feeling damn confused. how can someone like rowling exist? i mean who the hell is retarded enuff to think of such a story like this. wad the hell it's impossible. if u were to make me think up of one chapter from all seven books i wld rather study economic botany i tell u, BITCH!seriously sak. So after much thinking i haf reached a conCRUXIOOO!!!.. conclusion. LEGUMES! my conclusion is that...rowling is... a.......WITCH!!!!! nola not bitch... witch BODOH!!!!
yeah tt's rite she's a witch and she lives in the exact same world tt potter lives in. OHHH.. kau ingat aku tak tau eh rowling. kau ingat aku ni BODOH mcm mavado?eh tak mavado pandaii.. kau ingat aku bodoh mcm belakang parang kalau digosok kuat giler akan berkilat dan berkhasiat! no way... KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN!!! eh rowling i know tt u know of such a world!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA....2 be contiNUDE...
lemme end this song..
HEY ALL U PPL
HEY ALL U PPL
HEY ALL U PPL WON"T U LISTEN TO MEEEEEEE!!!
if u count to 10
and u look out of the nearest window.
and u look at the nearest tree
u'll see a cat stuck there.
and if i count one more time to 10
u'll see me pop out frm nowhere with a LONG DAGGER AND STAB THE CAT IN THE FURRR!! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!
with great love towards tan koon beng
KULUBI
and may those brave souls who have prepared so hard for the upcoming battle rest in peas.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:12 PM
photo test
Posted by Mat Raffles at 4:57 PM
Hello There.Im Fing. fing-er.
Just want you all to know, due to special requests made by fuckle, i have graciously decided to change the colour of my post. i hope nobody has it yet. If so, wtf lah u all! got so little colours, how to choose???!!!
Also, as you all have noticed, due to my gentlemany behaviour and extremely courtious charachter, i have stopped spamming the tagboard. Sigh. Im such a good person. If there were many more me-s in this world, it would certainly be a better place to live in.
Oh and as many of you have known, the rugby team is walking straight into a death-hole when they meet ACSI on Monday. Not saying that we will lose, but im just saying that since its a death-hole, may as well injure as many ACSI ppl during the match so if they win, they will enter the finals and surely lose to SA ;p All i can say is........sniff sniff......good luck guys.....sniff sniff.....
Oh and sewel-licious, do try your best not to go and get into a head-on collision with a giant who probably cant count to 5, you dont want to KO again......
And finally, as this piece of news is just as unimportant as this whole post, i want you all to go grab something to eat while i finish typing.....Start!!!
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
*kachik, kachik
dah? got something to eat? good. Now heres the news. Mum, Im pregnant!!!! no lah. im just fat. Hehe. those of you who got more than 1 free day in his dmp timetable or thinks his is very slack, please raise your hand now. NOW! ok lemme count, 1.....wah one only ah? not bad, considering he is an indian who has many, many, many,many,many,many.................muscles. i feel like smacking him. you know what, i think i will. after bio cct tomorrow, so he will have no excuse to miss it. plus we are going to support the c-div. so long, my friend....
ps: for those of you who dont know who the guy is, ask muzzle who he thinks is the most poser, gay and likes to flirt.
yours Fingeringly,
Fing
Fing-er (arseholes....)
Posted by Mat Raffles at 4:53 PM
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Violence, Our Way of Life!
Hey there Delilah,I'm back at Siapa Tanya.
I don't know why but the above song is becoming more and more popular amongst the Sec 3s. Come on lah, the song is just as PLAIN as the band. Plain White Tees? Like what the hell? Couldn't they come up with a better band name? Probably they were all wearing white t-shirts with no designs or whatsoever on them at that time and one of them probably said "Hey man, since we're such dumbfucks, let's just name ourselves after what we're wearing. I'm too tired (and perhaps too stupid) to think of any other names." And the rest of the band being dumbasses go with this idea. I think this is the exact same thing happen to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Come ON! Enough with the clothes already. I swear the next band will be Triumph Sloggi Brassieres and yes, the band will of consist of women unless you can find another transvestite Rihanna. So, yeah. That's MY theory. It may just be FICTION. As they all say, "You never really know until you know."
Okay, the quality of this blog has been steadily declining as I have gathered feedback from certain outsiders from outside. This is most probably caused by the prolonged absence of Mavado and myself. We apologize for disappearing just like that. The truth is, we had to go into exile after Lord Voldemort used Leglimency on Mavado and myself and extracted several important memories and even emotions. In addition to that, we have only gone for around three lessons of Occlumency but Severus was always being a bitch so we never really learned much except to improve our Shield charms. You know....PROTEGO! So, what we had to do was sit in a room where all four walls looked the same. It was like a prison cell except there was no prison, only a cell. That way, everytime Lord Voldemort sees through our eyes, he sees the exact same thing over and over again. This will eventually lead him to retardedness and thus, he is now in St. Mungo's as a spastic patient and Mavado and I are now free to roam the world and resume posting.
Firstly, before I start, I'd like to propose to all you sexy readers a very riddling riddle like Tom Marvolo Riddle. I will give the answer at the end of the whole post so please stay tuned. And for you buggers who already know the answer please don't become spoilers and spoil it. We all know you're smart so there's no need to show-off you braggart. So yeah, here goes...
If this is a HDB (referring to the thing pointed at by the red arrow) , then..........
What is this? (again referring to the thing pointed at by the red arrow) (hint: it's not a penis)
I will now go on to more important matters. The first being our, dear friend Mavado has passed away. HAHAHAH! NONO! Bluff only. Okayokay, the really first thing I'd like to address is violence. Violence has always been present in our community and this is something no one should be proud of unless you're in a community like Sparta. THIS IS SPARTA! But no this is not Sparta, THIS IS SINGAPORE! Or, THIS IS RAFFLES! Or, THIS IS SIAPA TANYA! Or, THIS IS ENOUGH! Okay, so once again I find violence as something which is somewhat disturbing. Look at these two videos.
Okay, these two videos definitely portray violence. Do you see what the purpose of the attacker is? That's right! He has no purpose! He is only whacking up the poor and slightly dark fella just for pleasure. Like what the hell? This is why I never get why evil people like Bellatrix have to go torture innocent people like the Longbottoms. I mean how'd you like it if I Crucioed your ass till you end up at Woodbridge. Then again, the attacker in this video has been known to go into Super Sayan mode a couple of times like Goku so probably it was one of those fits. I myself have experienced one of these surges and oh, how painful it was. Imagine being attacked by ten bulls. Real ones, not Red Bulls. So what have we learned today? Violence is like sex. It gives you pleasure but the other party only moans. HAHAHAHAH!
The second thing I'd like to discuss it today is National Day and I am proud to be a Singaporean. I mean like, we're one tiny dot. Like the world is a breast and we're the nipple. And the world is nothing without Singapore just like a breast would not be complete without a nipple. Imagine a lady who has to breast-feed her child. How else is the milk gonna come out if there's no nipple? That's exactly how the world needs Singapore.
The celebrations in school yesterday were quite fun. Me, Mavado and Kulubi were singing our hearts out and were donning red tops like true blue Singaporeans unlike the rest of the Raffles community who just had no passion. I have to applaud RIGE and RIMB for outstaning performances. You even got the teachers to be shiook sendiri. HAHAHAH!
Alright that's enough for today.
Take care now, byebye now.
With National Pride,
Fuckle.
(P.S. The answer to the riddle is HDB FLAT! Get it? No? Okay nevermind you retard)
Posted by Mat Raffles at 5:45 PM
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
clown!once again, its me, Fing. Fing-er. Fingering. Nono not fingering my you-know-what. Fingering my keyboard. sosososo, what happened today?? Well i will tell you what happened today. Today, something happened. Something happened today. Know what happened today?
Ok. today we celebrated national day. On the eve of national day itself. quite dumb ah, for a school like RI. yes, yes, we went through a barely audible guitar ensemble, like the careless whisperer, only, the guitar people didnt even open their motuhs. of course lah dols. they use hands to play guitar. not like SEWEL-LICIOUS, right, play guitar with mouth. yes, SEWEL-LICIOUS, its you, dont look away. we know who you are and where you live.
i mean, is this how we celebrate the nation's birthday? ok well, even if it is just the eve of that birhtday..still...its the nations birthday!!! and get this, the nation is bigger than you (3,999,999 against you alone, how that for statistics?). Im so disappointed by the performances. come to think of it, today was a waste of time and they should have just let us go home early rather than go assembly which i was sure only She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Pu-No-Hu were even paying attention. never again, will i go for such a waste of time where ppl celebrate a birthday which hasnt even happened. NEVER!!!
PS: i do like sliding tackle-ing people, especially forge and patch. and sewel-licious
Yours clownishly and with a burning left leg,
Fing-er
(stop it you perverts.)
P.S. Patch here. juz edited this post. because got Fing damn dol din put codename. edited parts in CAPS.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:56 PM
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
less important matter
hello ppl.... this is my first time posting DIRECTLY on siapatanya.... my last post was posted by muzzle... so yeah... orange is my colour... no one use b4 right? kk good... well anyway... every1 follow muzzle's plan ah... we will all rally together to fight the forces of darkness(fishyness, smellyness, uglyness and big-assness) !!! For SPARTA!!!!!various reasons why pu-know -who deserves to rot in hell ( even though her face looks like it's starting to rot)
her freaking inability to do anything reasonable... only know how to follow answer scheme blindly like wth.... i think her cancerous lips are hindering her eyesight...
her fukkish attitude ( and face )
and cuz she made me stand at the back of class for kentuting ( from my mouth )
and for making us write 60 stupid ayats for bina ayat.... i bet she'll die from athsma attack if she writes that much..
so yeah ppl.... follow muzzle's plan ah... and dun be scared to like be defiant cuz like if we all stick together she cant do anything and like maybe she'll quit .........or get fired.... OR GET REALLY FIRED!!! BANG!!! haha i dun think bullet can pierce het layer of fats... haha....
oh and thanks MUZZLE!!! i love you for finding my wallet!!!! haha
urs truly never fakely and sometimes trakely,
Finch.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 9:04 PM
very important announcement
okay all you mats out there reading this,i am here to gather forces for the notso final battle against pu-no-who
i have a very very extremely important announcement to make.
you see pu-no-who has reached her maximum pmsy state these few days. other than making us do a reflection, 60 ayats and a kefahaman for not doing her work, she is also putting our carefully planned event at stake.
heres the crux(io) of the matter : if she thinks that our proposal is not to HER standard (which she probably will) she will ask us to redo the thing and find another location and create new MALAY BASED, SENI BASED, BAHASA BASED activities. now i know you dols wouldnt want that would you?
she expects the activities to have ... surat writing and stuff. the thing is, what WE have planned does have the malay aspects in it, but in a more twisted and fun manner. its not those kind of "create a pantun and you win" kinds. its using bahasa with a tinge of fun (or so we hope). but punowho hates "fun" stuff, being the devilress that she is.
so we sec threes beg of all of you to support our proposal and be defiant if possible IF she rejects it. we hope you will be on our side cause we really did take effort to make it as fun as possible for you guys. okay stittalicious keeps telling me maybe it only will be fun for us cause we planned it. but we will try our best to make it fun for you guys (:
THANKS YOU!
oh fing, YOU TOTALLY ROCK not suck AT THE OLE GAME (: hahaha and patch was the top scorer. un-BELIEVABLE. last thing, putting finch's vibrating phone on the bare part of you-know-where is damn disgusting. you clown.
with the support of mats,
muzzle.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:41 PM
FING THE KING!
Hello. My name is Fing. Fing-er. Fing.As u all may have by now known, i am your father. No lah. i am the all so famous tagger called clown. Yes thats me. Mee goreng. And for those of you who was with me today, Finch, Stitalicious and Forge, you would have known that i have been able to withstand the inperious curse cast by none other than Pu-No-Who. I am the boy who lives. Now, to tell you my story, i have to tell you hers. Basically, i think she came from a troubled past and thats why she has a sense of humour which only Grawp understands. End of her story.
Today, we were interrogated for playing soccer in Azkaban Room 5. As Pu-No-Hu called the four of us so we could be tortured and be rightfully put back into our cages, I, being Fing, has a very short attention span. Thus, i looked at Finch and somehow, i laughed. Then Pu-No-Who asked, "Eh, awak ni kenape?" i said "tak de ape2. Saya teringat bende kelakar." And she went on. Then when she was Crucio-ing stittalicious, i looked at him, and somehow, again smiled. She then asked me the same qn. Then i answered "For fun." Then she said "eh awak tahu tak orang apa yang ketawa tanpa sebab?" then i said orang giler. She juat shrugged. Then, when she was Imperio-ing Forge, she said ".........was it a wrong mistake i made?..........." Forge and i, again, laughed. She then fumed at me and say things like i got high iq no eq this and that i am not serious and such. Even though I know, deep my heart, i will know, right from the start we will show, look where we are, we've come so far, and theres still along long way to go, its true, i cant help but deny it cos of Pu-No-Who's clownishness. Wawaweewa.
Wah. today, clowning with Finch was dam fun. Everytime he tried to enter Azkaban Room 7, i woud boom, CLOSE THE DOOR NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE! or i would say in a Harry potter-ish voice, "Parssword."
Oh btw,we, to my dismay, did not play hide and seek. Awwww. Say it again, Awwww. And again, Awwww.
Yours clownishly,
Fing-er
Posted by Mat Raffles at 8:16 PM
i am a racist
LUMOSHello again matbloods! If you're wondering why i used the above incantation? it is because we can all see that this blog is dark, black even. So we should make use of this useful god-given incantation so that we will all be able to see the posts better. (Instead of using the incantation on Mavado, because it is utterly useless in the first place and I daresay a little offensive, in which case ****le and Mavado will scare you to death with their anti-racism tactics)
Anyway, I am here to make a confession. A confession that I
AM
A RACIST!
Now you might be wondering why I, such a decent person and a rather helpful postman would be racist. (postmen help you a lot you know. Imagine how life would be without postmen to deliver letters everywhere) Well it surprises me too because the race that I seem to despise and loathe and detest and disdain and dislike (a vocab lesson courtesy of the postman) is the MALAY RACE!
My God!!! Now this may seem strange and utterly unexplainable on the surface, considering that I am a Malay. But if you look closely, through the strands of time and culture, you will find that I have certain reason to be anti-Malay (but of course racism should never be tolerated anyway). You see, I am descended in an unbroken line of forefathers (and mothers too) from a race called JAWA. Now, the Jawa (or Javanese to you Englands out there) have always been rivals to the MALAYS. Ever since the rivalry between Majapahit and Kesultanan Melaka (yes, the creative kingdom of brown people that handed down traditional stories of how friends should betray each other just because the king says so), things have never been calm between us. This rivalry continued into the 20th century, with the most recent significant manifestation being the Konfrontasi (back before LKY cried on telly).
Now, you see why there is a certain dislike of Malays within me. However, this is made worse because like Tom Riddle, I am a half-blood because my mother is GASP Malay! Just like Tom Riddle then, I despise the half of my bloodline that is detestable. However, unlike Tom Riddle, I would not like to turn myself into Lord Voldemort because my soul likes to be whole. So, friends, I need all your help to abate the tide of racism that has always been dormant within me and is now awakening.
Thanks to........................
The postman
p.s. I shall defer my psychoanalysis of pu-no-who until after the DMP module on understanding social deviants because I hope the course will allow me to write a more illuminating piece (although you could always use LUMOS MAXIMA, a useful incantation that will illuminate everything around you)
Posted by Mat Raffles at 7:53 PM
Aku yang tanya laa..
Hello, assalamualaikum and peas be upon you. Why peas? Because I fcuking hate peas, they're my most hated vegetable and I would rather have them upon you than with me. So have all my peas you people. If you want my pickles, corn (mixed vegetable type), brinjals then you can have them upon you too. Have fun.Before continuing with whatever crap I have to say, I have a confession to make. I created that poll thing. Now, do not question my intentions with the poll. It is entirely for the good of all and any member of the combatten can create a poll by going to the poll site and logging in with the secret username and password. Imagine the possibilities. We could be voting for a teacher's day (aka day where you bribe those who give you grades at the end of the year) for Pu-no-who and She Who Must Not Be Named.
Option a) A pile of shit
Option b) two piles of shit
See, what a hard choice to make alone. With this poll, matbloods are officially democratic!!! LONG LIVE SOCIAL STUDIES!!!!!
yeah. I have a lot more crap to say. So crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. There. All done.
Yours crappily,
Shift.
Ps: I do have a neck you arseholes.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:27 AM
Monday, August 6, 2007
decisions...
Hellollipop!Today, I had a dream! I had a dream! No, not a wet dream you sick pervs. I had a dream that.............a banana was purple in colour. Serious sia! Like brinjal like that. Only thing is, it's a banana ah like I said. I had this lovely dream while lying down on the library sofa and sleeping. Obviously! How can you dream if you're not sleeping? Unless it's a daydream and we all know that only happens if you have one of Fred and George's Patented Daydream Charms [One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side-effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens] which can be found at Weaseley's Wizard Wheezes which only exists at Hogsmeade and thus, you see how I doubt any of you have those in posession. And who in the right mind would conjure up a spell to daydream about a purple banana? Then again, we come back to the same old question, am I in the right mind? I could be in the left you know. In addition to that, I doubt any of you have owls to order with them through wizard mail. So yeah, let's just take it you can't get them and thus, dreams can only occur when sleeping. So what did I do with this mysterious purple banana? That I can't remember. Probably transfigured it into Barnie or something.
Okay, on to more important matters. Today we ran into a certain misguided young Rafflesian and gave him a piece of our mind. However, we're in trouble for doing so and thus, we're going to settle this tomorrow. No spoilers please!
The highlight of the day was the choosing of the modules for the Differentiated Modules Programme 2007. We spent 2 hours doing that. Like what the hell? Half the time we were arguing. Nevertheless, we overcame all the odds and finally took the following modules.
Prevention and Management of Sports Injuries
Singapore Identity Through Movies
Animation with 3Ds Max (for non CEP students only)
Sec 4 HML Sec 4EGJK
Nutrition for Sports
This ardous task took the brains of 4 mats and that is how hard it was. Mavado, Kulubi, Bulu and myself were among the 4. I LIIIKEEE! For those of you who are interested in picking the same modules as us, you can reach us through the Summoning Charm we taught you all today. So just Accio Fuckle or something. So yeah.
Anyway, the Blues' lost yesterday has not really affected me seeing what they were capable of during the match itself without the big names like Ferry, Badluck and Shevchenkosong. So, we'll see how it goes.
Till then, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
With with with,
Fuckle.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 11:22 PM
i felt like farting and i went to the toilet to shit
today pu-no-who super duper pms mad as a madcap!!! i checked definition mad means angry, crazy, uncontrolled or mentally ill but i tink she's mad in all aspects and meanings. like today, she damn out of the blue sky tok abt us not respecting her and having no responsibility, not doing our work and all. she tok abt not being given respect, try to earn it lah! she tink wat, all ppl hu hav big and fat S-es shud automatically be given respect ah?i dunno wat more to post, fuckle posts evrything basically, so i juz support. GO GO GO!
i like cats. MEOW!
gghhhandom!
wattaheck.
Forge
i didnt noe wat to post.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 10:01 PM
blues clues?
No greeting for today. I am utterly disappointed in Chelsea. Blues clues? BLUES LOSE!Good performance in the first half ah. Nice goal from Malouda the Frenchipanie. A bit like me ah but if me ah, I think top corner. So yeah. Good play from the Satans also. Bloody Satans! Their Giggis goal was damn nice set-up. So yeah. The match like quite boring ah but got a few highlighters ah like when Rooney the Barnie fart when he was bending over to tie his shoe lace. YEAH! I HEARD IT! STOP DENYING! I think Ronaldo's playing more like his first season in Man U. That's damn sad because he was playing much better in the second season (the previous season for all you guys who missed it. you must be in the chamber of secrets or something. probably, you obliviated yourselves and forgot everything.) So yeah, nice play from both sides.
Van Der Sari was a monster in penalties. Saved three ah while Man U scored 3. So for those of you who getting 0.8 for maths like Mavado semua, it was 3-0 to Man UV Rays. Hat-Tricks sialll! Pizzadol, Lamfart and Left-Phillips all missed sia. Tu lah! Hari tu bila training nak end aku dah suruh dorang gi practise penalties jap. Aku kena leave early makan lunch ngan Queen of England. Terus dorang slack. Tengok ah sendiri apa dah jadi. Nevermind, from now on I will insert CCTVWXYZ on the pitch to monitor your every move. I'm watching, always watching. Oh yeah, I think Nani(the Man U player ah. kalau cikgu ternampak ni tolong jangan perasantan.) look like Michael Jackson.
With Utter Disappointment,
Fuckle.
Posted by Mat Raffles at 12:07 AM
Sunday, August 5, 2007
HEY PEEEEPPSSIIII COLLAA 123!!!!
it's me again kulubi aka defenderofjusticeandtruthandlovefighteroffreedomthusiamcalleda
freedomfighterjustliketherestforegfucklemavadohahaheeeeheehuuhuuuetc
thus!!! i haf been called to appear at this blog yet again for the infinitely 2nd time to talk about a serious issue concerning she who must not be named and punowho and this issue is none other than to continue my previous story...
so this is where it ended
AND then i made my way to the kitchen and how shocked i was to see a styrofoam box with "$4" written on it. My curiousity got the better of me as my fingers were controlled to move towards the box. I slowly opened the box and how shocked i was WHEN.....
so sila duduk diam diam, gluekan pantat kau ke kerusi dan lekatkan mata kamu ke cermin mata yang dilekatkan pula ke bulu mata yang tercabot lalu melayang ke angkasa MEHMEHMEHMEH!!!
the journey to completion PART II
i slowly opened the box and how shocked i was when i saw THREE UGLY SQUISHY YELLOW(if they were black i could have sworn they were triplet siamese mavados) DURIIIAAANNNSS!!! my heart started beating as it never be4 and then it started thumping and then it started climbing up my throat and then to my lips and it tore open my lips.
IT then transigured into a 7 fingered hand and reached out for a yellow mava i mean a durian and it slowly retreated back into my mouth. First it tasted tangy, then it turned sour then bitter then it slowly tasted rotten like the drumstick i ate from a SPECIAL VILLAGE and LASTLY it tasted like THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!! i have never tasted anything like it be4. OMG!!! As i swallowed the final seed i creeped slowly to the ASS BOX to see whether they were any more left in there. However, how shocked i was to see a BROWN....
to be continued...
WITH great successss
KULUBI
Posted by Mat Raffles at 5:27 PM
Mat Fart
my first post on this blog.yest the sec 3 batch went on a rackeeee to Mat Fart. suitable name too, as i was farting evry 15 mins and a fart from muzzle shook a whole bench we were sitting on. anw it was damn fun. hope the rest who will go on the real thing have as much fun as us.
so we explored Mat Fart. quite tiring going up, but we had a lot of fun thinking of chkpoints and all that. and fing was damn dol. well, there were these binoculars thing cos we were damn high up so got nice view. then fing was looking thru it after patch sacrificed a buck for it. then he looked and looked and looked when i put my shoebag's black surface in front of it, covering the front. he withdrew his head said, "walau, finish alrdy, the shutter closed..." then realised wat i was doing beside him... (then his funny face which always shows when he malu) and he got fooled like 3 times when i sort of stroked the back of his neck with my fingers and tricked him into thinking there was an insect on him, and once by stittalicious.
and we took retarded and cool pics and all that and on the way down we sang random songs. then we created another game...
patch: this
me: is
fing: home,
finch: truly,
gred: where
patch: i
me: know,
fing: i
finch: must
gred: be,
patch: where
me: my
fing: dreams
finch: wait
gred: for
patch: me
.
.
.
.
.
.
i tink u get it? we sang that song while walking in a line and singing one word each while taking turns. one of the silly things we do.
went solat,
went to a shopping place,
ate at NYC,
heard 'a certain guy hu hasnt got a codename yet' sing majulah singapura in his choir-y voice cos he revealed that he was in choir b4,
we went home. not for me though, i went to my gran place. so far.
VEEERRRY FUN!
wattaheck.
Forge
